Post by Lightningstar on Oct 16, 2007 19:49:11 GMT -5
Good! I liked it.
Lightningstar: A sleek Abyssinian she-cat with a kink in her tail. She's a kit at heart, but she's also got a lot of common sense. You don't want to be around her when she's angry.[br][br]Yaoi pwns. Oh yes, it does. :P[br][br]I'm a huge Back to the Future geek. xD True that.[br][br]LionxHeather= <3
Post by Something Somewhere on Mar 3, 2008 20:13:44 GMT -5
This is good, but I'm disappointed that it only states the obvious. We know Graypaw's feelings that you present from reading the original story. I was hoping for a stronger presentation of his views, opinions, desires, wants, actions, and goals. The Graypaw/Spottedleaf thing? Did you forget she was love in Firestar's eyes? Graystripe liking her is simply wrong. He never expressed any interest. Also, Graypaw and Ravenpaw being brothers is too far off the mark to be acceptable. They never reflect any sort of brotherly love, even when Ravenpaw leaves. I understand there is padding for fanfictions sake, but this is a little to much fluff. But overall, I enjoyed reading it.