Chapter 21
Barkface: (Heard from across the forest) I’M CRAZYYYYYYY . . .
Rouges: Huuuuuh? (Look up at the sky)
ThunderClan: (Sneaks away)
*4 SECONDS LATER, A TINY DOT IS SEEN FALLING FROM THE SKY. WHEN IT LANDS, AN EXPLOSION KNOCKS ALL THE ROUGE CATS INTO OBLIVION, EXCEPT FOR BROKENSTAR WHO FLEW INTO THE MEDICINE CATS’ DEN.*
Brokenstar: No! You dirty monster! What are you doing to me?! AAAH! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOO! I CAN’T SEEEEE! I CAN’T SEEEEEEEEEEE!
ThunderClan: (Comes back into the clearing) THANK YOU, BARKFACE!
Barkface: YOU’RE WELCOOOOOOOME . . . (Many rubber duckies are thrown into the sky above the trees)
Fireheart: It makes you wonder . . .
Graystripe: (Comes in with red liquid in random places on his fur) Hey, Fireheart!
Fireheart: Oh, no.
Graystripe: I found some blood on the ground and put it all over my body. It makes me look tough, doesn’t it?
Fireheart: You do know that it’s cherry sauce and bees are going to come after you in a few seconds, right?
Graystripe: . . . AAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Runs out of the camp)
Bluestar: Is everyone all right?
Fireheart: Graystripe’s getting chased by bees.
Graystripe: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Bluestar: I don’t care about him. What about the rest of you?
Halftail: We’re fine.
Yellowfang: I’ve blinded Brokenstar!
ThunderClan: Hoorah!
Evil: And we shall kill him!
Bluestar: Are you crazy?! We can’t kill him, (Evil mocks Bluestar behind her back) or else we’d be as cold blooded as he is . . . (turns around)
Evil: . . . what?
Bluestar: *SIGH* we’re going to take him as a prisoner.
*RAINCLOUD COMES FROM OUT OF NOWHERE, PICKS UP DUSTPAW, AND RUNS AWAY WITH HIM*
Sandpaw: Good riddance.
Frostfur: (Passes out)
Graystripe: (Comes back into the camp with a swollen eye) . . . I got stung by a bee.
Yellowfang: *SIGH*
Chapter 22
*A PARTY HAT FLOATS INTO THE CAMP, DROPS PREY IN A PILE, AND DISAPPEARS IN A PUFF OF CONFETTI*
Speckletail: (Passes out)
Yellowfang: Grr . . . (drags both queens to her den)
Bluestar: Time for Sandpaw and Dustpaw’s naming ceremony!
Sandpaw: But Dustpaw’s not here.
Willowpelt: Look! Raincloud’s coming back!
Raincloud: (Drops Dustpaw and leaves)
Dustpaw: What happened?
Sandpaw: Sit next to me, Dustpaw! We’re becoming warriors.
Dustpaw: Sweet.
Bluestar: Sandstorm. Dustpelt. Sit a vigil. Good-night. (Leaves)
Sandstorm: That wasn’t much of a ceremony.
Dustpelt: Who cares? We’re warriors! (Waves tail excitedly to reveal many bow ties on his tail)
Everyone: (Stares in silence)
Sandstorm: (rolls over laughing) Raincloud!
Dustpelt: Wha- (looks at tail) Grr . . . I’ll be in my sleeping quarters. (Leaves)
Cinderpaw: I’m a burden.
Yellowfang: And I’m not old.
Fireheart: Okey-dokey!
Brokentail: If I could see, you’d be toast!
Fireheart: Mmmm . . . tooooast . . .
*THE NEXT DAY*
Raincloud: I want you and Graystripe to go hunting together.
Fireheart: Isn’t the leader supposed to be telling me that?
Raincloud: She’s having mental therapy right now.
*BLUESTAR’S DEN*
Therapist: So tell me: what’s bothering you in your life?
Bluestar: Well, everyone in the forest seemed to have gone nutty ever since the battle for sunningrocks. By the way, I think it’s Raincloud’s fault.
Therapist: And tell me . . . who is this Raincloud?
Bluestar: She’s the one writing about everyone in this parody. But I don’t know why I’m not affected by the insanity.
Therapist: (Writes on a notepad) . . . interesting . . .
*SUNHIGH*
Frostfur: CLOUDKIT IS MISSING!!!