Post by Autumnstorm on Aug 14, 2007 17:45:00 GMT -5
OK, YOU MUST HAVE READ BOOK 3 TO READ THIS!!! AND THERE IS A SPOILER FOR BOOK 5 TOO!
Thank you to Raincloud for inspiring me to write this. It is modeled after your style, but I have tried to make it different and original. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors.
Tigerclaw: “Grrr…Die Bluestar! I am way cooler and hipper than you! It is my turn to lead my peeps!”
Bluestar: “What the? OMG!”
Tigerclaw: “Muhahahaha!”
Fireheart: “Bluestar! Where are you? I need you to tell me where the chainsaw is! Bluestar?” *walks in on Tigerclaw and Bluestar* “Huh? Oh, Tigerclaw. Get off of Bluestar you…you… Oh forget the dialogue! Let’s just skip to the little asterisk things that represent action! *jumps on Tigerclaw, pulls him off*
Tigerclaw: “Nice witty banter, kittypet!” *scratches Fireheart*
Fireheart: *sticks tongue out* “Hey, Bluestar, this could be a bad time, but I TOLD YOU SO!!!”
Bluestar: “Uh, Fireheart? You are supposed to be battling Tigerclaw, remember?”
Fireheart: “Oh yeah!” *clears throat* “RAWR!” *scuffles with Tigerclaw*
Tigerclaw: *pinned by Fireheart* “Darn you Fireheart!” This battle isn’t over!”
Fireheart: “Actually, it is. Didn’t you hear the little trumpet playing?”
Tigerclaw: “I was speaking metaphorically. I mean I will haunt your every waking moment from now on, and you haven’t truly defeated me.”
Fireheart: “Oh! Got it! Cool!”
Bluestar: “Thank you Fireheart! *nuzzles him*
Spottedleaf: “Get away from him! He’s mine!”
Bluestar: “We have to tell the clan! Come on!” *runs out of den*
Fireheart: *begins to follow her, stops* “Hey wait! Hold everything! I am the big hero! Where is the little hero music that plays in the background to recognize my…terrificness!? That is a word, right?”
Stage Crew Person: *bumps radio, heroic music plays, then flips through dictionary* “There you go, Mister Fireheart, sir! And, no, terrificness is not a word.”
Fireheart: “Much better! And…I, Fireheart, say that terrificness is indeed a word!”
Stage Crew Person: *whips out pen and scribbles in dictionary*
Tigerclaw: “Fireheart! Get your furry orange hiney out here! You are part of this scene, you know!”
Bluestar: *on Highrock* “Tigerclaw, you have been a big meany butt, so no dessert for you tonight!”
Sandstorm: “Bluestar? You are supposed to banish him!”
Bluestar: “Awww, but that seems a bit harsh. He only tried to kill me.”
Sandstorm: “Um…But if you don’t, there is no plot! No more books! And you know what that means…no more profit or benefits!”
Bluestar: *gasps* “You’re right! Tigerclaw, you are banished from Thunderclan!”
Tigerclaw: “Hmph! Fine! Darkstripe? Comin’?
Darkstripe: “Uhhh…Hold on.” *does eenie-meenie-minnie-mo between him and Bluestar, lands on Bluestar* “Guess not! Ba-bye!”
Tigerclaw: “Grrr…Longtail?”
Longtail: “No. To tell you the truth, you kind of smell bad…”
Tigerclaw: “What?” *sniffs armpit* “Whew! You’re right! Still, what does it take to get some good followers around here? Dustpelt?”
Dustpelt: *smacks him in the face* “Never! I’d rather die! Well, not really, but it sounds more dramatic!”
Tigerclaw: “Darn you Fireheart!”
Bluestar: “You said that already! Remember? On the first page? Ring a bell?”
Tigerclaw: *scowls* “Shoot! I really need to work on my dialogue… Well, anyway, if we can lay my word choice issues aside, then, I’m after you Fireheart! I won’t rest until I’ve hunted you down and killed you and fed your body to-”
Bluestar: “Yeah, whatever. Don’t let the branches hit you on the way out!”
Tigerclaw: *stalks out of camp* “Ow! Dumb branches! You’re next!”
Fireheart: “We better watch out in book five!”
Bluestar: “Why?”
Fireheart: “Well, he lures a dog pack into our territory to hunt us down and terrorize us, turning us into prey on our very own turf and filling our lives with fear and misery!”
Bluestar: “Are we talking about the same villain here?”
Fireheart: “I dunno. Hey, want to go get some fresh-kill?”
Bluestar: “I’m not sure…According to the script, I am supposed to be devastated and get all mopey and depressed and blah, blah, blah.”
Fireheart: “Script, schmipt! That is no fun!”
Bluestar: “Yeah, you are right. Ok! I’ll beat you to the fresh-kill pile!” *sprints off*
Fireheart: “Wait! That finch is MINE!” *runs after her into the sunset*
Author: “Pretty good, eh?”
Author’s Assistant: “Yeah...I just have two questions.”
Author: “What?”
Author’s Assistant: “Ok. One, why do they run off into the sunset? You never said what time of day it was.”
Author: “Oh. All good stories end in a sunset! Duh!”
Author’s Assistant: “Uh…ok. And two, how can Spottedleaf say anything? She died in book one!”
Author: “It doesn’t matter! It is my story, so back off, buster!”
Author’s Assistant: “It does matter! You just don’t want to admit you were wrong!” *blows raspberry*
Thank you to Raincloud for inspiring me to write this. It is modeled after your style, but I have tried to make it different and original. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors.
Warriors Scene (Sort of!)
Tigerclaw: “Grrr…Die Bluestar! I am way cooler and hipper than you! It is my turn to lead my peeps!”
Bluestar: “What the? OMG!”
Tigerclaw: “Muhahahaha!”
Fireheart: “Bluestar! Where are you? I need you to tell me where the chainsaw is! Bluestar?” *walks in on Tigerclaw and Bluestar* “Huh? Oh, Tigerclaw. Get off of Bluestar you…you… Oh forget the dialogue! Let’s just skip to the little asterisk things that represent action! *jumps on Tigerclaw, pulls him off*
Tigerclaw: “Nice witty banter, kittypet!” *scratches Fireheart*
Fireheart: *sticks tongue out* “Hey, Bluestar, this could be a bad time, but I TOLD YOU SO!!!”
Bluestar: “Uh, Fireheart? You are supposed to be battling Tigerclaw, remember?”
Fireheart: “Oh yeah!” *clears throat* “RAWR!” *scuffles with Tigerclaw*
Tigerclaw: *pinned by Fireheart* “Darn you Fireheart!” This battle isn’t over!”
Fireheart: “Actually, it is. Didn’t you hear the little trumpet playing?”
Tigerclaw: “I was speaking metaphorically. I mean I will haunt your every waking moment from now on, and you haven’t truly defeated me.”
Fireheart: “Oh! Got it! Cool!”
Bluestar: “Thank you Fireheart! *nuzzles him*
Spottedleaf: “Get away from him! He’s mine!”
Bluestar: “We have to tell the clan! Come on!” *runs out of den*
Fireheart: *begins to follow her, stops* “Hey wait! Hold everything! I am the big hero! Where is the little hero music that plays in the background to recognize my…terrificness!? That is a word, right?”
Stage Crew Person: *bumps radio, heroic music plays, then flips through dictionary* “There you go, Mister Fireheart, sir! And, no, terrificness is not a word.”
Fireheart: “Much better! And…I, Fireheart, say that terrificness is indeed a word!”
Stage Crew Person: *whips out pen and scribbles in dictionary*
Tigerclaw: “Fireheart! Get your furry orange hiney out here! You are part of this scene, you know!”
Bluestar: *on Highrock* “Tigerclaw, you have been a big meany butt, so no dessert for you tonight!”
Sandstorm: “Bluestar? You are supposed to banish him!”
Bluestar: “Awww, but that seems a bit harsh. He only tried to kill me.”
Sandstorm: “Um…But if you don’t, there is no plot! No more books! And you know what that means…no more profit or benefits!”
Bluestar: *gasps* “You’re right! Tigerclaw, you are banished from Thunderclan!”
Tigerclaw: “Hmph! Fine! Darkstripe? Comin’?
Darkstripe: “Uhhh…Hold on.” *does eenie-meenie-minnie-mo between him and Bluestar, lands on Bluestar* “Guess not! Ba-bye!”
Tigerclaw: “Grrr…Longtail?”
Longtail: “No. To tell you the truth, you kind of smell bad…”
Tigerclaw: “What?” *sniffs armpit* “Whew! You’re right! Still, what does it take to get some good followers around here? Dustpelt?”
Dustpelt: *smacks him in the face* “Never! I’d rather die! Well, not really, but it sounds more dramatic!”
Tigerclaw: “Darn you Fireheart!”
Bluestar: “You said that already! Remember? On the first page? Ring a bell?”
Tigerclaw: *scowls* “Shoot! I really need to work on my dialogue… Well, anyway, if we can lay my word choice issues aside, then, I’m after you Fireheart! I won’t rest until I’ve hunted you down and killed you and fed your body to-”
Bluestar: “Yeah, whatever. Don’t let the branches hit you on the way out!”
Tigerclaw: *stalks out of camp* “Ow! Dumb branches! You’re next!”
Fireheart: “We better watch out in book five!”
Bluestar: “Why?”
Fireheart: “Well, he lures a dog pack into our territory to hunt us down and terrorize us, turning us into prey on our very own turf and filling our lives with fear and misery!”
Bluestar: “Are we talking about the same villain here?”
Fireheart: “I dunno. Hey, want to go get some fresh-kill?”
Bluestar: “I’m not sure…According to the script, I am supposed to be devastated and get all mopey and depressed and blah, blah, blah.”
Fireheart: “Script, schmipt! That is no fun!”
Bluestar: “Yeah, you are right. Ok! I’ll beat you to the fresh-kill pile!” *sprints off*
Fireheart: “Wait! That finch is MINE!” *runs after her into the sunset*
THE END
Author: “Pretty good, eh?”
Author’s Assistant: “Yeah...I just have two questions.”
Author: “What?”
Author’s Assistant: “Ok. One, why do they run off into the sunset? You never said what time of day it was.”
Author: “Oh. All good stories end in a sunset! Duh!”
Author’s Assistant: “Uh…ok. And two, how can Spottedleaf say anything? She died in book one!”
Author: “It doesn’t matter! It is my story, so back off, buster!”
Author’s Assistant: “It does matter! You just don’t want to admit you were wrong!” *blows raspberry*
The Author’s Assistant was fired. Ok, now it is the real end. Please deposit all trash into the trash cans, and have a good day. No, I am serious. You don’t have to stare at this anymore! Stop it! It really is the end!
THE END
See?