anti-solemn Into the Wild }{ Humor

[SandsofTime]

Title: Anti-Solemn Into the Wild
Chapters: I don't know yet, probally one for each real chapter
Author: me, SandsofTime
Pairing: everyone who is paired in the book
Rating: G
Spoilers: yes, for Into the Wild, maybe more books
Summary: What happens when the Warriors cats go insane in the fist book? Read to find out!
Warning: sortof comical violence, and the words idiot, idioc, stupid, and What the Heck? Of course we will have the Warriors' swear words as well, but that's it!
Disclaimer: Erin Hunter wrote Warrirors, not me!
Beta: none
Cover: maybe...

Proulouge

Tigerclaw: Oakheart! Why are you in our territory?
Oakheart: We just want to party!
Tigerclaw: I don't know if you can do that... go ask Redtail.
Redtail: Why is it always me?
Tigerclaw: 'cuase you are deputy
Redtail: Oh. Yeah. And Oakheart?
oakheart: yeah?
Redtail: If you want to party here, you have to change your name to Stupidhead.
Oakheart: Okay! CROOOOKEDSTAR!!!
Crookedstar: eahyay?
Redtail(to Oakheart): What was that?
Oakheart(to Redtail): He loves pigs so he only speaks in piglatin.
Redtail: oh.
Oakheart(to Crookedstar): Change my name to Stupidhead!
Crookedstar: kayOay! tarClanSay! hangeCay akheartOay otay tupidheadSay! (tIay adlysay siay eryvay ruetay.)
Stupidhead: Hey!
Rest of RiverClan: Lets get this party started! Yeah! *forms into conga line* I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it! I like ta.... MOVE IT!
Mousefur: What the Heck?!?! *faints*
Oakheart: Sunningrocks is ours!!!
Redtail and Tigerclaw: Oh shoot.
Oakheart: Did somebody say shoot? SHOOT THAT THUNDERCLAN FOXDUNG!
Random Queen: Oakheart! The kits!
Rest of RiverClan: YAY! *Pull out guns.*
RiverClan apprentices: oh yippee!!! *pull out cannons*
Redtail: RETREAT!!! RETREAT!!!
*ThunderClan runs away back to camp*


Bluestar: Are they okay yet?
Spottedleaf: So totally not but almost!
Bluestar: Good. Look at that falling star!
Spottedleaf: Fire will like totally save our like Clan!
Bluestar: how?
Spottedleaf: Why would i know? You ask StarClan yourself!

[Iceshadow]

>.>

[Splashwave]

XD

[Rainshadow]

lol! just so you know, with pig latin, words that start with vowels dont get the first letter switched around like that. okay is okayay instead of kayoay. other than that and the apprentices should have pulled out bb guns, this was funny!

[.Swiftclaw.]

XDDDDD I <3 it. ;D ;D ;D

[Lightningstar]

*gigglesnort* That made me chuckle. Crookedstar seems very fluent in pig latin.

[SandsofTime]

chapter 1

Rusty: *yawn* *flatly* ooh. food. yippee. I will be eating bad food again. yay.
food:...
Rusty: Onsecond thought, i'll just eat it. I wish i caught that dreammouse. :(
food:......
Rusty: Okay food. here i come!
food: ...*uhoh*...
Rusty: *crunch,crunch*
Rusty: okay im done. outside i go.




Smudge: Hola, Rusty. Where, shall I ask, are you going?
Rusty: Whats the mustache for??
Smudge: For seducing chickoritas!!! Duh!!!
Rusty: That is SO not seducing.
Smudge: You're not a Chickorita.
Rusty:*outraged* Well of course not!! I'm a male becuase--
Sands of Time: heyheyhey!! We DO NOT need to hear that. Go back to the story!!
Rusty/Smudge: SORRY!!!
Sands of Time: Forgiven. Rewind.
Smudge: Where are you off to Rusty?
Rusty: Hello Smudge.
Smudge: You're not going to go into the woods, are you?
Rusty: Just for a look.
Smudge: You wouldn't get--
Sands of Time: CUT!! You are repeating the book word for word! Stop it!! Go ahead your own way, but don't go into graphic details. Just go ahead. *rubs head*
Smudge: *annoyed glance at Sands of Time who has now disappeared* --me in there. Henry went into the woods once and caught un pájaro.
Rusty: Smudge! Henry likes to be called "Si[r Henry John Buffington"!
Smudge: huh. bye. *stalks off*
Rusty: He can be so annoyying. huh. Bye. *stalks off towards the forest*


Rusty: Here Mousey, mousey! Here Mousey!!
Mysterious + Scary Voice: RAWR!!! INTRUDRER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Graypaw comes out holding a voice scrambler*
Graypaw: Sorry about that kittypet! I had it set to "Mysterious + Scary Voice". My name is Graypaw!
Rusty: Graywhat-the-heck, aren't you supposed to fight me?
Graypaw: MY NAMES GRAYPAW!!! >:( Also, i'm not good at fighting yet so I decided to use a voice scrambler. Doubly also, I know you want me to become a kittypet but i don't want to. Triply also, you better go because of the Clans. Quadruply Also, the pther Clans are: ShadowClan(evil want-a-lot fleabags), RiverClan (crazy water loving fleabags), WindClan (fast airheaded fleabags), and of course us, ThunderClan(superbly wonderful cats. The only ones who deserve to go to StarClan because the other Clans are stupid fleabags.)
Rusty: 0.o you are so weird.
Graypaw: Hey? Whats that? Its my Clan!
Rusty: Duh.
Graypaw: hmmph. you better--
Bluestar: Hello!
Graypaw: B-b-b-b-b-blustar!
Lionheart: You shouldn't be so near Twolegplace, Graypaw!
Graypaw:sorry!!!
Bluestar: who is the kittycat?
Graypaw: Hes just a kittypet.
Bluestar: Oh?
Graypaw*to Rusty*: Thats Bluestar, our leader. The gold catt is Lionheart. he only speaks exactly from the books. Hes also my mentor.
Lionheart: Thank you for the introduction, Graypaw.
Bluestar: You fight well for a kittypet. Also a good hunter, though don't yowl "HERE MOUSEY, MOUSEY!"
Rusty: I'm perfect.
Graypaw: *snort*
Lionheart: Bluestar, this is a kittypet. He should not be hunting in ThunderClan territory. Send him home to his Twolegs!
Rusty: There HAS to be enough prey!
Bluestar: You stinking furball! NO THERES NOT!!!
Rusty: Uhoh....

[SandsofTime]

yay!!! More!! (Its so fun to write humor)
Chapter 2
Rusty: Sorry for taking your mousey, mousey. But the problemo is that I didn't even catch so I'm not in trouble am I?
Bluestar:huh.
Rusty:........are you warriors?
Lionheart: Some are Warriors. Some are too old or too young or too busy caring for kits to hunt.
Bluestar: *brings in robot*
Robot: *sprays flyers everywhere*
Everyone but Lionheart: Umph! OH! owowowow!
Robot: *leaves*
Rusty: I guess he doesn't like small talk.
Graypaw: Read the flyer.
Rusty: *Reads* Do you want something more? Come join ThunderClan in the forest!
Rusty: COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lionheart: Bluestar is only offering you training young kit. There is no garuntee you woul become a full warrior. It might--
Sands of Time: *yawn*This is so boring. Fastforward.
*FASTFORWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Firestar: I'm an old guy. Take pity of me.
Sands of Time: Whoops. Rewind.
*REWIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Bluekit: you weally awen't experiririenced at this awe you?
Sands of Time: No. I'm not. Go Back.
*GOING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!*
Lionheart: --comfortable life.
Everone but Lionheart: Whoa. Cool Dude.
Everyone:.....
Rusty: *bursts out laughing* (everyone stares)
Graypaw:okay......
Lionheart: Come Bluestar. Lets not waste any more time here. Tigerclaw--
Random cat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lionheart:--will wonder what has become of us.
Rusty: WAIT!! I wanna be a Clan cat!
Bluestar: Lionheart will chaueffer.
Graypaw: BYE!!!

[Airilae-Chan]

Hilarious! ;D ;D ;D I like this bit:

Lionheart: Come Blustar. Lets not waste any more time here. Tigerclaw-
Ramdom cat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!
Lionheart: --will wonder what has become of us.

LOL!!!

[SandsofTime]

My head exploded(not) and i forgot the thread!! sooooo sorry!
Chapter 3
Rusty: ZZZzzzZZZzzz.....
Smudge: Senor Rusty? WAKEYWAKEYTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rusty:ZzZz...WHAT?!?! Am I dying? Where am I? Is this Heaven? Hello Smudge! Are you dead too?.....
Smudge: Oy Vey. no. home. no. Hi. no.
Rusty: Oh....
Smudge: Hey Rusty! I'm changing my nombre!
Rusty: nombre? do you mean beret? Though I've never seen you wear one....
Smudge: *sigh* no. NAME! It's Smudgerina!
Rusty: Smudgerina?
Smudgerina: Yes! *girly giggle* Isn't great?
Rusty: WELL ANYWAYS I fought Graywhathisname, and then I...
Smudgerina: Yeah, yeah! Who cares?
Rusty: Well, I CARE
Smudgerina: Who cares about what you care about?
Rusty: I'm SO going into that forest AND you can't stop me!
Smudgerina: I wasn't going to.
Rusty: huh.
Smudgerina: NOW I SHALL PRRRROWL THE STREETS IN SEARCH OF CHICORITAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Audience Member: Do you mean chocolate?
Rest of Audience: *Boo him*


Rusty: I'm in the forest, and I'm WAITING!!!
Sports Car: *drives in*
Lionheart: You have a lot to learn. Even the tiniest Clan kit knows when another cat is nearby.
Rusty: Uh.. Actually its obvious, you are in a SPORTS CAR!! the really loud ones.....
Whitestorm: Wa-aaay to true.
Lionheart: Can you tell if I am alone?
Rusty: Uh.....................................................Another cat that I don't know.
Whitestorm: *press skip until they head to camp*
Whitestorm: You, orange kit, go into the punch buggy. See if you can keep up!!!
Rusty Ole' punch buggy: *fall apart*
Rusty: Yeah. I'll have a REAL fun time.

IN THE CAMP

Rusty: I will never ride in a punch buggy again.
Bluestar: Let All Cats Old Enough To Catch Their Own Prey Join Here Under The HighRock For A Clan Meeting!!
ThunderClan: *ZAP! there*
Rusty: Sweet.
Bluestar: Okay, I'm Changing the name of our Clan.
ThunderClan: Oooooooh!!
Bluestar: It shall be TC!!!!
TC: Aaaaaaaah!!
Bluestar: Also this kit named Rusty
Rusty: *flips hair and grins*
Longtail: YOU ARE A ****ing idiot RUSTY!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WERE DROPPED ON YOUR STUPID HEAD AS A BABY, FOXDUNG!!!!!!!!!!!
Cranky Twoleg: Pianissimo
Rusty: You lost your piano?
Cranky Twoleg: QUIET!!!!!!!
Rusty: Oh. Just asking. *turns invisible*
Longtail: *hurls insults*
Rusty: *leaps onto Longtail, scuffles, bits Longtail's ear off, takes collar off while being invisible the WHOLE TIME* *uninvisibleizes himself*
TC: Whoa.
Rusty: *flips hair and grins*
Bluestar: shall be named TIGERPAW!!!!
TC: *gasp*
Random kit: Bluestar's in looooooove!
Bluestar: Whoops! I MEANT Firepaw!!
TC: oh.
Ravenpaw: *bursts into camp* OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!! Like, Redtail is totally, like, DEAD!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Firepaw*to Graypaw*: Whats wrong with him?
Graypaw*to Firepaw*: He thinks he's a girl!
Firepaw: OMG!!!!

[Iceshadow]

Lol

[SandsofTime]

[glow=red,2,300]WARNING!!! The word sexy is repeated a lot in this chapter!!! [/glow]
(This is kind of hard to write 'cause my book is falling apart....)
CHAPTHER 4!!!

Firepaw: So Redtail is dead, so what? WAIT. Who's REdtail? Why is he dead? Is that a problem? How did he die?...
Dustpaw: Oy. REDTAIL IS *cough* WAS MY MENTOR!!! HAVE A PROBLEM with that..?
TC: *stares*
Ravenpaw: OMG!! Oakheart so, like, totally killed him! OMG!!! So, we are, like, without a deputy! OMG!!! What do we, like, totally, like, do? OMG!!
TC: *stares a little more intensly*
Ravenpaw: *makes gaga eyes at Darkstripe* You're so totally cute!
Darkstripe: *turns into a wisp of smoke*
Ravenpaw: *collapses*
Wisp of Smoke: Must of been delerious! *turns back into Darkstripe*
Goldenflower and Frostfur: *look at each other*

Door: BAM! SLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tigerclaw: heh.
Brindleface: When did we get the door?
Tigerclaw: Shut up Brindlebutt.
Brindleface: I'll show you shutting up, TigerDUNG!!!!
Tigerclaw: SECURITY!!!
*big buff cats come and take her away*
Brindleface's kits: *look sad*
Tigerclaw: Oh okay....SECURITY!!!!!*security brings her back, happy reunion music plays*
Dustpaw: HEY!!!! Did anyone *sniff* notice *sob* that Redtail is on Tigerclaw's back?? *bursts out crying*
Random TC cat: Did anyone even NOTICE you?
Sandpaw: Well, you certianly didn't notice me!
SAME Random TC cat: Oh.
Different Random TC cat: How are you random?
Not so random TC cat: Oh.....,.
Sandpaw: Take the name of anymous!
Anymous: OKAY!!!
Graypaw: It's not anymous if he's the only anymous......
Firepaw: Did you mean any mouse?
Graypaw/ Sandpaw: NO!!!
TC: *Boo*
Graypaw: Hey, I actually agreed with Sandpaw on something!
Sandpaw: That is something I DON'T agree with!
Bluestar: WELL. I WAS going to say that the new gathering call will be the song "O Come, O Come Emmanuel"
Firepaw: Cool!
Bluestar: So, O come, o come Emmanuel, Shall Ransom thee o Isreal....
Firepaw: Do you mean "Is real"?
*A fridge promptly falls on him*
Firepaw:*lifts it up with one paw and grins*
Sandpaw: *thinks* Oooh! He's sexy!
*The song sexyback starts playing*
TC(exept for Tigerclaw): EEEWWW!!! I HATE THIS SONG!!!
Tigerclaw: "I'm bringing Sexy back...."
TC: *stares at him*
Tigerclaw: What?
*music switches off*
Tigerclaw: oh. *turns to Spottedleaf* I want my servant *cough* APPRENTICE back in working *cough, cough* TRAINING order ASAP.
Spottedleaf: He like, still needs to stay in one place for now, you know?
Tigerclaw: *snort* *prod* WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!! HEY, STUPID MINION, WAKE UP!!!!
Spottedleaf: Stop. OR else(you die).
Tigerclaw: *leave* You, kittypet, walk off a cliff, won't ya?*walk away*
Firepaw: Do you think he liked me?
Graypaw: He just told you to walk off a cliff!
Firepaw: Ok, I will....
Graypaw: *claps in Firepaw's face*
Firepaw: WAAH! HIYAH! BOOBEEBAMBOOZLE!!! *does kung-fu* *stops, looks around and says* What.
Graypaw:You were hypnotized.
Firepaw: Oh.........
Ravenpaw: omg. Is he, like, gone?
Firepaw: Yeah, I'm...
Spottedleaf: Please,like, go away. Well, *bats eyes at Firepaw* exept for you.
Firepaw: *flips hair and grins*
Graypaw: You do that a lot you know? It's kind of your trademark.
Firepaw: It is.
Bluestar: O Come, o come emmanuel...
TC: *BOOM! there*
Bluestar: The new deputy is Lionheart! Also, Darkstipe will be Dustpaw's new mentor! LET'S PARTY!!!
TC: *form conga line* I Like To Move It Move It
I Like To Move It Move It
I Like To Move It Move It
Ya Like To MOVE IT!
Firepaw: I love this place!

AT 2:00 in the morning

Tigerclaw: I’m bringing sexy back
Them other boys don’t know how to act
I think you're special, what's behind your back?
So turn around and I'll pick up the slack. *shakes butt*
Firepaw: I'm tired! Where do I sleep?
Sandpaw: FAR AWAY from me!!!

[Iceshadow]

Sandpaw: *thinks* Oooh! He's sexy!

Firepaw: I'm tired! Where do I sleep?
Sandpaw: FAR AWAY from me!!!

*Coughcontradictingcough*