Evil Little Thoughts }{ UF, Humor

[Lightningstar]

Title: Evil Little Thoughts
Chapters: I'm not sure. Probably around five or six.
Author: Lightningstar
Pairing: Lots. x3
Rating: PG
Spoilers: I'll only really say things that pertain to the first series, so at least be past The Darkest Hour
Summary: A parody about the Warriors Clans.
Warning: You may start laughing uncontrollably, though that part is optional.
Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors or anything related.
Beta: None
Cover: None

Author's Notes: My first try at a humorous fanfic! Hope y'all like it. :3

-- Chapter 1 --
In The Beginning

Rusty: So you really want me to join your Clan?
Bluestar: If you want to, I guess. *shrugs*
Rusty: Cool! I guess I'll come with y'all.
*The four cats make it back to camp*
Bluestar: Rusty's here!
Longtail: Who's Rusty? Is he the one delivering my meds?
Bluestar: No, Longtail, your medications aren't coming yet. Rusty's a kittypet.
Longtail: A kittypet! Why are letting a kittypet into the Clan?
Bluestar: That is an excellent question.
*Bluestar leaps onto the Highrock*
Bluestar: I have gathered Rusty from Twolegplace. He is to join the Clan.
Darkstripe: Join the Clan? He's a kittypet, for StarClan's sake! Let him eat his slop.
Longtail: He would hog all our food. And that kittypet collar, though quite fashionable, would make tons of noise. *Whispers to Frostfur beside him* Why can't I have one of those?
Rusty: Mrrrow! *leaps on Longtail*
*The two cats fight and Rusty's collar comes off*
Lionheart: *rings wrestling bell* Rusty is da winna, mon!
Longtail: Sure he can fight well, but can he sing and dance?
Rusty: *leaps up on Highrock* Come on everybody!

*signing*
Young man, there's no need to feel down,
I said young man, pick yourself off the ground,
I said young man, 'cause you're in a new town,
There's no need to be unhappy

Young man, there's a place you can go,
I said young man, when you're short on your dough,
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!
They've got everything for young men to enjoy,
you can hang out with all the boys!

Longtail: Passed! He's good enough for me! *begins to dance*
Lionheart: Phat party, mon!
Ravenpaw: STOP!!!!!!!!
*Weird staticy music-turning-off sound*
Ravenpaw: REDTAIL IS DEAD!!!!!!!
Bluestar: Stop shouting!
Ravenpaw: I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING! REDTAIL IS DEAD! TIGERCLAW IS BRINGING HIS BODY BACK AS WE SPEAK!
Tigerclaw: Here he is. *drops body* Now where's my deputy position?
Bluestar: We must finish Rusty's ceremony first. *turns to Rusty* Well, I guess you'll be known as Firepaw from now on.
Firepaw: Whoopee!
Ravenpaw: Now what about Redtail?
Bluestar: He's dead, obviously. We need a new deputy.
Tigerclaw: Ooh! Pick me, pick me!
Bluestar: Umm….. Lionheart, I suppose.
Lionheart: Oh yah, mon!
*The Clan begins to do random things and they start dancing/singing*
Firepaw (to Graypaw): Are all of your meetings like this?
Graypaw: There's a reason it's called the HIGHrock, you know.
Firepaw: Ah, that would explain it. *begins dancing too*
Tigerclaw (muttering to himself): I will get rid of that filthy apprentice, and become deputy too….. how I'm going to do it, I don't know. I haven't gotten that far yet. Curse you, dead brain! *whaps head*

[Silentstar]

Cool!!! I'm loln'! I like these parts:
Lionheart: *rings wrestling bell* Rusty is da winna, mon!
Longtail: Sure he can fight well, but can he sing and dance?
Rusty: *leaps up on Highrock* Come on everybody!

*signing*
Young man, there's no need to feel down,
I said young man, pick yourself off the ground,
I said young man, 'cause you're in a new town,
There's no need to be unhappy

Young man, there's a place you can go,
I said young man, when you're short on your dough,
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!
They've got everything for young men to enjoy,
you can hang out with all the boys!
l!!! I'm loln'! I like these parts:


[shadow=red,left,300][glow=red,2,300]LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/glow][/shadow] (lol)

[Lostsoul]

LOL!

"Curse you, dead brain!"

CURSE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


XD Love it! Can't wait for more!

[Patchpaw]

"There's a reason it's called the HIGHrock, you know."

xD LOL

[Lightningstar]

*gasp* Ravenpaw actually stopped shouting once!

[Lightningstar]

-- Chapter 2 --
A New Apprentice

Firepaw: Can we go hunting again, Lionheart? Please-please-PLEASE???
Lionheart: Chill, mon. We can go out a-huntin' again sonna o' lata.
Graypaw: But we need to get Ravenpaw high on squirrel again so he doesn't fall into a deep state of depression. *puppy dog eyes*
Firepaw: Yeah! Exactly! *to Graypaw* Was that the best you could think of?
Lionheart: Alrigh', alrigh'. Let's go, mon.
*Ravenpaw joins them and they start out hunting*
Lionheart: Can you scent any prey, mon?
Ravenpaw: I SCENT MOUSE, AND VOLE, AND MOLDY LEAVES, AND CAT DIRT, AND A SQUIRREL!
Graypaw: Shut up, loudhead. *slaps Ravenpaw*
Ravenpaw: OW! THAT HURT!
*Crow flies away*
Firepaw: Now look what you did! I could have caught that crow and I could have fed the Clan!
Ravenpaw: WELL TOO BAD!
Lionheart: Chill, mon. There's no need ta fuss.
Graypaw: Get Ravenpaw back to camp before I spontaneously combust!
Firepaw: But doesn't that mean you go up in flames?
Graypaw: I have no idea what it means. It's just fun to say. *humming* spontaneous combustion, spontaneous combustion……
Firepaw: Ravenpaw, come with me.
Ravenpaw: OKIE DOKIE ARTACHOKIE!
*Firepaw drops Ravenpaw back off at camp and returns to the hunting patrol to find Tigerclaw standing over Lionheart*
Lionheart: Geroff me, mon!
Tigerclaw: Never! *evil laughter* I shall kill you, Lionheart, and I will become deputy!
Firepaw: You're getting it all wrong.
Graypaw: What do you mean?
Firepaw: Though Lionheart does die eventually, Tigerclaw doesn't kill him. A ShadowClan warrior does.
Tigerclaw: How do you know that?
Firepaw: It's right here, in this book. *waves 'Into the Wild' under Tigerclaw's nose*
Tigerclaw: Ah, I see. *flips through book* Here it is, right here……. Well, I guess I'll be leaving now. *Gets off Lionheart and goes back to camp*
Lionheart: Thanks, mon. Y'all saved me.
Graypaw: That was tubular! Now let's finish hunting!
*The three remaining cats continue to hunt and head back to camp*
Firepaw: Well, that was boring.
Graypaw: You can say that again.
Firepaw: Well, that was boring.
Graypaw: *sigh* Never mind.
Ravenpaw: HEY GUYS! GUESS WHAT?
Graypaw: What?
Ravenpaw: I FOUND A WAY TO SMUGGLE ROOT BEER AND M&M'S INTO CAMP!
Graypaw and Firepaw: Sweet! *rush to apprentice's den*
*All three get drunk on root beer*
Firepaw: I think I could begin to like Clan life……
Graypaw: You like canned lice?
Firepaw: Let's go with that.
*All three pass out*

[Lostsoul]

*All three get drunk on root beer*
Firepaw: I think I could begin to like Clan life……
Graypaw: You like canned lice?
Firepaw: Let's go with that.
*All three pass out*


*dies from laughter* I can't believe I'm still around with all the times I've died from laughter on this site. Well, just another time to add to the list! Hillarius! Can't wait for more.

Random, nameless apprentice: He likes crammed dice?

[Lightningstar]

LOL thanks Lostsoul. ^^ Perhaps you're a Clan leader in your second life.....

[Iceshadow]

this is pretty good...

[Patchpaw]

When I was 5 I used to always say "Okie dokie, artachokie!" Sometimes it was 'macaroni' instead of 'artachokie', but it's the thought that counts. x3

[Lightningstar]

--NOTICE--

I am taking a break from updating this parody for a while. I have got several multi-chaptered fanfics on my shoulders, and I thought it would be nice to have a break from one. However, I am currently trying to still update Blood-Lust and Golden Heather, so watch for more soon!

--Lightningstar

[Lightningstar]

I am discontinuing this fanfic. Sorry to all those expecting more!

[Onyxfur aka *~ AITCH~*]

Awwwwwwww, I like reading this! Espiacially liked Lionheart ^^. yay. Mon

[Dovewing]

I just started reading this today, I'm sad that I won't get to read some more for a while *cries* aw well, at least I get a break from dieing from laughter for a while....

[Autumnleaf]

lol, that was awesome. it's ok that u need 2 update ur others. i respect it.
*turns away*
WAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SOOOOOOOOOOB!