Out of the Wild }{ UF, Comedy

[chellurton]

I apologize if this chapter's a little dull. There wasn't much potential comedy in chapter 9 of the book.

Chapter9

Yellowfang: I’m mad!
Graypaw: I think Yellowfang is mad.
Firepaw: Where’d you get that idea.
Graypaw: You better go over there. If it looks like you’re in trouble, I’ll whack her with a stiff rabbit.
Firepaw: Hello, Yellowfang.
Yellowfang: I don’t want you looking after me! You’re stupider than a vole!
Firepaw: Stupider?
Yellowfang: DO NOT QUESTION MY GRAMMAR! I AM WISE!
Graypaw: *whacks her with a stiff rabbit*
Firepaw: Gah! What are you doing?
Graypaw: I said I would…
Firepaw: I’m supposed to be taking care of her, not hurting her even more!
Yellowfang: (slightly dazed) I like you Firepaw, you have spirit!
Firepaw: Aww man! Look, you broke her!
Graypaw: Oops. I’m a ThunderClan apprentice! *runs away*
Yellowfang: Why don’t you ask that smart, pretty medicine cat of yours to give me some herbs, dear?
Firepaw: I don’t know if I should…
Spottedleaf: Take these! *shoves poison ivy into Yellowfang’s mouth*
Firepaw: Uh-oh.
Yellowfang: Oh thank you dear… hmm, my mouth seems kind of itchy.
Firepaw: Why me?

Firepaw: Ravenpaw, wake up! *pokes Ravenpaw*
Ravenpaw: I want to liiiiive! *jumps up and hits roof of den*
Firepaw: Are you okay?
Ravenpaw: Yes mom, I would love some chocolate.
Graypaw: He’s fine, let’s go.
Firepaw: I have to stay and look after Yellowfang.
Sandpaw: At least you don’t have Whitestorm intruding on your black abyss with his bright outlook on life.
Firepaw: Riiiiight.

Firepaw: breakfast time! *drops bird in front of Yellowfang*
Yellowfang: My mouf ish sho ithy!
Firepaw: Stop complaining and eat.
Yellowfang: Theresh poishon ivy in my frout! You can’t ith your frout!
Firepaw: I’ll go see if Spottedleaf has anything for that… whatever you just said.
Spottedleaf: Here, giver her this! *gives wet moss to Firepaw*
Firepaw: I wonder what this stuff is… *shoves it in Yellowfang’s mouth*
Yellowfang: Thank StarClan! The itch is cured! Wait that taste… Spottedleaf, what is this?
Spottedleaf: Mouse bile.
Yellowfang: Ack! Disgusting!
Firepaw: I think I’ll go wash my paws… *runs to the stream*
Graypaw: Hi Firepaw!
Firepaw: Hey. What are you two doing?
Ravenpaw: Who wants to know?
Firepaw: Um… me.
Ravenpaw: Trust no one! *Runs back to camp*
Graypaw: Uh, we’re hunting.
Firepaw: that’s boring, let’s go back to camp.
Graypaw: Okay.

Back at Camp

Tigerclaw: Weren’t you supposed to be hunting?
Graypaw: No.
Tigerclaw: Oh. Well, your in trouble for not doing what you weren’t asked!
Firepaw: Huh?
Tigerclaw: Nevermind, go eat something.
Firepaw: I’m really regretting ever having left home…
Graypaw: Tigerclaw actually complimented Ravenpaw today.
Firepaw: what’d you do, Ravenpaw? Fly?
Ravenpaw: Yep! *flies around in circles*
Firepaw: Since when do you have wings?”
Ravenpaw: I’ve always had them.
Firepaw: this place is so confusing.
Sandpaw: It’s easier when you don’t care about life.
Yellowfang: Firepaw dear, might I have some food?
Firepaw: Oh my StarClan! You are so demanding!
Yellowfang: Oh, sorry. I’ll just go hungry.
Graypaw: I’ll do it! *starts bringing a mouse to Yellowfang*
Tigerclaw: GARR! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HELP THE ELDERLY!!! EAT THAT MOUSE AS PUNISHMENT! OBEY ME!
Graypaw: Yes sir! *swallows mouse* mmmm… Thank you Tigerclaw! *hums happily*
Tigerclaw: Man, I thought eating was a good punishment.

[Shadowstar]

Aww man! Look, you broke her!

That made me laugh

[chellurton]

This one's better, in my opinion.

Chapter 10

Speckletail: Firepaw, Blurstar wants to see you.
Firepaw: But, I don’t want to- *suddenly appears just outside of Blurstar’s den* Oh. Alright then…
Blurstar: How’s Yellowfang?
Firepaw: Who? Oh! I mean fine. Of course I’ve been taking care of her. *shifty eyes*
Blurstar: Good. It’s time to catch up on your training.
Firepaw: Yes! I get to train with my mentor, the leader!
Blurstar: What? No, you’re training with Tigerclaw today.
Firepaw: *sigh* I’m beginning to understand Sandpaw’s point of view…
Sandpaw: What point of view?
Firepaw: You know, depressing, dark.
Sandpaw: I have no idea what you’re talking about. *prances away humming twinkle twinkle little star*
Firepaw: O-kaaaaay…

Firepaw: Hey Graypaw, Ravenpaw!
Ravenpaw: Eek!
Graypaw: Whatever.
Tigerclaw: Assesment time! Firepaw, you go hunt by the twolegplace so I can catch you acting like a kittypet.
Firepaw: Sounds good to me!
Tigerclaw: Ravenpaw, you go down that trail of horror and doom, because you suck and I want you to die.
Ravenpaw: That seems pretty safe.
Tigerclaw: Graypaw, you can go hunt by the stream where there is a lot of prey because I have nothing against you.
Graypaw: The stream! Why me? I hate life!
Firepaw: What the?
Tigerclaw: GO NOW!
Firepaw: *runs away*

At the forest near twolegplace

Firepaw: I wonder if Tigerclaw is watching me…
Smudge: Hi Rusty!
Firepaw: Intruder! *attacks Smudge*
Smudge: Ah, stop!
Firepaw: Smudge!
Smudge: Yes! I was just trying to say hi-
Firepaw: Don’t you remember me?
Smudge: Yes I do. You used to be my best fr-
Firepaw: You know, Rusty. I used to live next to you.
Smudge: Yes! I know who you are!
Firepaw: I knew I could get you to remember!
Smudge: *sigh* So where did you go? You just disappeared with all of those other cats, and you never told me where you went.
Firepaw: I’m Firepaw! I’m a ThunderClan apprentice! Wait, did I just say…
Smudge: Oh, you went to live in the forest. How is it?
Firepaw: More horrible than you could imagine…
Smudge: Sorry about that. Well, see you later!
Firepaw: Bye! I’m a ThunderClan apprentice! Wait, what…

[Shadowstar]

Firepaw: *sigh* I’m beginning to understand Sandpaw’s point of view…
Sandpaw: What point of view?
Firepaw: You know, depressing, dark.
Sandpaw: I have no idea what you’re talking about. *prances away humming twinkle twinkle little star*
Firepaw: O-kaaaaay…

Firepaw: Hey Graypaw, Ravenpaw!
Ravenpaw: Eek!
Graypaw: Whatever.
Tigerclaw: Assesment time! Firepaw, you go hunt by the twolegplace so I can ctach you acting like a kittypet.
Firepaw: Sounds good to me!
Tigerclaw: Ravenpaw, you go down that trail of horror and doom, because you suck and I want you to die.
Ravenpaw: That seems pretty safe.
Tigerclaw: Graypaw, you can go hunt by the stream where theirs is a lot of prey because I have nothing against you.
Graypaw: The stream! Why me? I hate life!
Firepaw: What the?
Tigerclaw: GO NOW!
Firepaw: *runs away*


That's funny And Graypaw is rubbing off on Firepaw

By the way, in the beginning w/ Bluestar, you said traim instead of train

[rosiepool]

[glow=red,2,300]LOL XD Awesome story!!! I cracked up at the Twinkle Twinkle Little Star part!!![/glow]

[chellurton]

Sorry. i tend not to spell check this one very much since every time I write down a name it says that it's spelled wrong. And Graypaw isn't rubbing off on Firepaw, there's something else going on entirely... ; )

[Shadowstar]

I was kidding around, but ok And the same thing with me, I don't like to spellcheck either

[chellurton]

I know you were, but I'm a fan of correct spelling. : ] I might write the next one today.

[Shadowstar]

Can't wait for it I look forward to reading it. And yes I've been on here the whole time...

[chellurton]

Chapter 11

Tigerclaw: Hey Traitorpaw, I mean Firepaw. How was the kitty petting, I mean hunting.
Firepaw: Lovely, thanks for asking! I’m a ThunderClan apprentice!
Graypaw: *drops squirrel* I hate squirrels! I hate life! *start’s listening to iPod*
Firepaw: Wait, isn’t that Sandpaw’s?
Graypaw: No! Mind your own darkness!
Firepaw: Where’s Ravenpaw? Do you think he died?
Tigerclaw: Hopefully. I mean, let’s wait a bit longer.
Ravenpaw: Hey! Look, I caught a cat-eating snake-monster from the doom path!
Tigerclaw: I hate you.

Back at Camp

Graypaw: *still listening to ipod* falloutboiz and em-see-ar…
Firepaw: Hey Ravenpaw, do you know what’s going on with Graypaw? I’m a ThunderClan apprentice... And me?
Ravenpaw: When an apprentice first start’s out in ThunderClan, they are very excited, and keep announcing it to everyone like the idiot they are. But in turn, each apprentice realizes the horrors of their genetics, and that they are forced to live among… these guys… *gestures to ThunderClan cats*
Firepaw: What’s wrong with them?
Blurstar: Oh, the blurs!
Spottedleaf: what’s a cobweb?
Tigerclaw: REDTAIL IS DEAD! BELIEVE ME!!!!
Whitestorm and Sandpaw: I like pancakes, I like pancakes, they make me a happy Peter. I am happy I am happy lalalalala!
Firepaw: They seem fine to me.
Ravenpaw: Graypaw will accept his fate, and that iPod will be yours before you know it.
Firepaw: I’m a ThunderClan apprentice.
Tigerclaw: Firepaw! Go see Blurstar! NOW!
Firepaw: *runs to Blurstar and salutes* Firepaw reporting for duty, sir!
Blurstar: Tigerclaw said you were talking to a kitty pet.
Firepaw: Yep.
Blurstar: Do you regret leaving your home?
Firepaw: More than you could ever know.
Blurstar: Too bad, you’re staying here. Oh, and you and your friends were invited to the fourtrees party tonight.
Firepaw: Hooray!
Ravenpaw: eek!
Graypaw:…whoop-de-ding…

[Airilae-Chan]

Its really great so far! I can't wait to see what happens at fourtrees! ;D ;D ;D

[Shadowstar]

Lol, are they having a personality switch or something?

[chellurton]

Ack. My last exam was cancelled for today. Now I don't get to sleep in toimorrow. D :
Anyway I'm bored out of my mind so here's the next chapter.

Chapter 12

Firepaw: Look at all of the cats down there!
Ravenpaw: It must be some party. Much better than my birthday… *sniffle*
Grewpaw: That must be Blackfoot.
Firepaw: Grewpaw? That must be a spelling mistake.
Tigerclaw: Great StarClan, Firepaw! Tell our weaknesses to every Clan, why don’t you?
Firepaw: I wasn’t aware that spelling was a weakness of ours.
Tiggercalw: of corse it it, Firpaw!
Blrsatr: ya, were hav u bin latly?
Firepaw: Oh, sorry I won’t do it again.
Tigrcwal: u beter nt. *leaves*
Firepaw: I’m going to follow him for no apparent reason so I can conveniently hear him tell his story wrong.
Graypaw: … *turns up iPod*
Ravenpaw: What? No! He’ll kill you! I mean, I’m gonna just talk to some apprentices…
Firepaw: ‘Kay. *follows Tigerclaw*
Tighgsdg: nd den I fot rly gud… wait, sorry, let me start over.
Tigerclaw: Three warriors were attacking me but then I turned into optimus prime and I started crushing them with my robot powers so they ran and I didn’t kill Oakheart.
Firepaw: Maybe he thought it would offend RiverClan if he didn’t need to become a transformer to chase off their warriors. *goes to see Graypaw.
Graypaw: *singing* my brother went to college, to become a doctor. And if he studies hard enough he’ll end up just like father. Who hates his life.
Firepaw: That’s depressing. What’s a doctor?
Graypaw: Oh, sorry. *singing again* my brother became an apprentice, to become a medicine cat…
Firepaw: That’s better.
Graypaw: Ah, forget it. *gives the iPod to Firepaw* I’m done. You might need that soon.
Firepaw: Nah, this joke is already getting old. *throws iPod into WindClan territory* No one will ever find it there.
Graypaw: we were just talking about the ancient Clans.
Runningnose: Yes. We get our swiftness from ReallyQuickClan, our strength from SteroidClan, and our intelligence from BlurryClan. And every now and then a great warrior will arise who possesses a qualiy of the wonderful BlurryClan…
Blurstar: A great wuh?
Runningnose: Well, BlurryClan wasn’t that smart.
Lionheart: Great, we inherited our intelligence from what might as well have been called StupidClan. Hey, little guy, you don’t look six moons.
ShadowClan apprentice: What’s with the freaking interrogation man? I’m clean, I got nothin’ to hide.
Lionheart: *stares*
Apprentice: Uh, I mean, I’m small… *runs away*
Graypaw: Now let’s go and hear Ravenpaw’s conveniently placed different version of Tigerclaw’s story.
Ravenpaw: I just fought off a huge warrior. Then Redtail ran up to me and told me Oakheart was dead. Then cotton candy rained from the sky and I ate all of it.
Firepaw: That doesn’t make sense! What about the transformers?
Brokenstar: Ahem! It is now time for the party to commence! But first I want to ask if I can hunt in your territory.
Tigerclaw: No.
Brokenstar: But you have to. I said so.
Smallear: Nuh-uh.
Brokenstar: Yeah, because I’m stronger than you and my dad could beat up your dad.
Smallear: Both of our fathers are dead.
Brokenstar: Oh yeah. Well then, I could drive you from your territory like I did to WindClan.
Crookedstar: You can hunt on my territory!
Brokenstar: k thx bai. And also, Yellowfang is stupid and eats babies.
One-eye: Yellafang came n’ took mah baybay!
Firepaw: Well, this party kind of sucks. Even Yellowfang would be more exciting. I’m going to go talk to her.

[Shadowstar]

Lol! *GASP* They threw away the iPod! How dare they!

[chellurton]

xD don't worry, I think it's coming back eventually, though I haven't quite decided yet.