How Everyone REALLY Died }{ UF Cats in both series

[flamestripe]

Title: How Everyone REALLY Died
Chapters: Don't know yet...
Author: Flamestripe
Pairing: None
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Deaths in the 1st and 2nd series
Summary: This is how cats like Bluestar and Tigerstar really, really died!
Warning: None
Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, the amazing Erin Hunter does!
Beta: None
Cover: None

Bluestar

Bluestar is waiting for news of the dog chase and Tigerstar is hiding in a bush behind her.
Tigerstar: (creepily) Hello, Bluestar.
Bluestar: Oh, hello Tigerclaw! How are things going in the chase? Did the plan succeed?
Tigerstar: I, um....
Bluestar: Why? WHAT are you hiding?! TELL ME!!!!!!
Tigerstar: Bluestar, what's wrong....
Bluestar: There's something WRONG?!(gasps)No cats have been killed have they?!!
Tigerstar: No, but....
Bluestar: Oh no, the WHOLE CLAN hasn't been killed has it?!!!
Tigerstar: Well.....
Bluestar: I must go and see!! (runs off to direction of gorge) Hey, there's no cat here.....they must have all died! (runs around franticlly trying to find someone and trips over a twig and falls into the gorge)
Tigerstar: She's gone loopy...

Tigerstar

Tigerstar: NEEEIIIIGGGHHHH! No-one can...
Scourge: Don't you mean meow?
Tigerstar: Fine. MEEEOOOOWWW! No-one can defeat me, ha ha ha ha!!!
Scourge: It should be MUA ha ha ha.
Tigerstar: Whatever! MEEEOOOOWWW! No-one can defeat me, mua ha ha ha ha!!! Not even YOU Scroff!!!!
Scourge: I'm Scourge.
Tigerstar: Okay then. MEEEOOOOWWW! No-one can defeat me, mua ha ha ha ha!!! Not even YOU Scourge!!!! Because I'm TIGERCLAW...
Scourge: I thought you were Tigerstar?
Random Cat: Yeah, he is.
Tigerstar: Cool. MEEEOOOOWWW! No-one can defeat me, mua ha ha ha ha!!! Not even YOU Scourge!!!! Because I'm TIGERSTAR! QUEEN of the DESERT!!
Scourge: Firstly, you're a boy so therfore a KING. Secondly, we don't live in a desert but a land of idiots. Apart from me.
Tigerstar: Grr!! MEEEOOOOWWW! No-one can defeat me, mua ha ha ha ha!!! Not even YOU Scourge!!!! Because I'm TIGERSTAR! KING of the IDIOTS!! And I shall kill you!!!
Scourge: Actually that won't be happening because according to this(pulls out the Darkest Hour)I kill you....
Tigerstar: (head explodes from having to remember so much)
Scourge: Told you! Oh...you're dead....

Should I continue?

[flamestripe]

Silverstream-Not Recommended for GrayxSilver Lovers

Tigerclaw, Fireheart, Cinderpelt and Graystripe are helping Silverstream have her kits.
Graystripe:(nervously) Is everything going okay, Cinderpelt?
Cinderpelt:(slightly scared) Yes, so far. We've got one healthy kit.
Graystripe: Where, where? Lemme have a look!
Fireheart:(licking the kit) He's over here.
Graystripe:(looks at kit and pulls a face) UGHH! It's UGLY!!!
Silverstream: What is? Is something wrong?
Cinderpelt:(before Graystripe can say anything) Here's the second kit! Take it, Tigerclaw.
Tigerclaw:(begins to lick) Yuck! It's all yucky!
Graystripe:(looks at 2nd kit) For once you're right Tigerclaw!
Fireheart:Oh come on, it can't be that bad!(looks at both kits and faints)
Silverstream: What IS going on??!!
Graystripe: How could go give me such ugly kits after all the risk I took! And you've killed Fireheart too! UGHHH!(kills Silverstream)
Cinderpelt: GRAYSTRIPE!!!!(Graystripe runs off and Cinderpelt chases)
Tigerclaw:(picks up both kits)So much for a happy couple.

Yellowfang

The fire hasn't strcuk yet and Bramblekit is talking in his sleep.
Bramblekit: ZzzzZDisco?ZzzzzZZZZzzOkayZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzDanceZzzzZZZZ
Fireheart: The camps on FIRE! Everyone, evacuate camp NOW! (Bramblekit sleepwaks behind his mother. Yellowfang and the two elders are still asleep.)
Goldenflower: Hurry up, Bramblekit!
Bramblekit:Can IzzzZZZZzzzZZZZSmoothie!!zzZZZzzz(begins to fall behind but nobody notices)
Yellowfang:(wakes up)I, um. Where is everyone?(Bramblekit wanders in)
Bramblekit:Come onZzzzzZZZZZ
Yellowfang:???Come on where?
Bramblekit:Everybody dance now!zzzZZzzzzZZ
Yellowfang: It's a DISCO!(picks up Bramblekit who wakes up and runs outside)Come on, everybody dance now!
Bramblekit: Oh, a dance, cool!(the pair dances and the elders come out of thier den)
Halftail:Wozgoingon?
Yellowfang:Hmm, let's have a dance contest!
Bramblekit: Oooh! Yeah! I'm first!(does the can-can)
Patchpelt: I give you a 10/10!
Halftail: PEH! 1/10.
Yellowfang:(glances at the approaching fire)Can I change the lights from red to blue?
Patchpelt: Meh, fine. (Yellowfang approaches fire and gets burnt to ash) Oh dear, let me try. (Burns too)
Halftail: Oh come on! All you have to do is....(burns)
Bramblekit: Umm, who won? (Fireheart races into camp)
Fireheart:(Looks at the piles of ash)Bramblekit, what happened?!!
Bramblekit: We were having a dance contest and the lights electrocuted everybody!
Fireheart: Where did you even learn that long twoleg word?(Bramblekit shrugs)

[Autumnleaf]

You have one crazy imagination..........
I like it!!!

[Dovewing]

lol you do have a crazy imagination. Quote:Tigerstar: Grr!! MEEEOOOOWWW! No-one can defeat me, mua ha ha ha ha!!! Not even YOU Scourge!!!! Because I'm TIGERSTAR! KING of the IDIOTS!! And I shall kill you!!!
Scourge: Actually that won't be happening because according to this(pulls out the Darkest Hour)I kill you....
Tigerstar: (head explodes from having to remember so much)
Scourge: Told you! Oh...you're dead....
that's funny! do Redtail next ;D

[Autumnleaf]

Yeah, Redtail! That'll be funny...heh...Don't make me die from laughter, tho.






On second thought, please do!

[Onyxfur aka *~ AITCH~*]

YOU.MUST.CONTINUE

awsomeawsomeawsome!!!!!!

I already died from laughter!

[flamestripe]

Sorry about the wait everyone!

Redtail

ThunderClan and RiverClan are fighting over Sunningrocks and Tigerclaw, who can't bear to ruin his lovely claws, sits on the rocks watching.
Redtail: (angrily) Tigerclaw!
Tigerclaw: (idly) Yes? What's wrong.
Redtail: (sarcasticly) Umm, well...let me think!
Tigerclaw: You should think before you speak.
Redtail: Ughh, do you need everything explained to you?!!!!!
Tigerclaw: Well, that would be helpful now....
Redtail: For StarClan's sake! We are in the midst of a battle and you're just SITTING there!
Tigerclaw: (confused) Well, why aren't you fighting....?
Redtail: Umm.....
Tigerclaw: (shrugs) Fine, I'll start fighting. (leaps onto Redtail who is taken by surprise.
Redtail: (desperately) Tigerclaw! This isn't quite what I...... (dies)
Tigerclaw: Redtail! Why aren't you fighting anymore? We're in the midst of a battle and you're just LYING there!

Brokenstar

Blind Brokenstar lies in Yellowfang's den and Yellowfang is round the back of the den looking through her herbs.
Brokenstar: Yellowfang?
Yellowfang: (calmly) What?
Brokenstar: Nothing.
Yellowfang: Okay.....
(A few minutes pass)
Brokenstar: Yellowfang?
Yellowfang: (slightly annoyed) What?
Brokenstar: Nothing.
Yellowfang:.....
(More minutes pass)
Brokenstar: Yellowfang?
Yellowfang: (annoyed) What?!
Crookedstar: I can't see........
Yellowfang: (faints from amazement at how silly her son is and knocks over a pile of deathberries which she gathered earlier thinking they were cherries which cats don't even like and probably haven't even tasted)
Brokenstar: Ooh, thanks Yellowfang! (gobbles down all the deathberries and dies)

[flamestripe]

If you have any requests I'll be glad to do them, but I haven't read some of the books in AGES so some of the deaths might be wrong with the wrong cat killing or something like that....

[Dovewing]

L. O. L.

This is so funny! Don't worry, so far the right cats have been killing the right cats.
Do Halkfrost! Do Halkfrost!

[Ladybird]

Tigerstar: Grr!! MEEEOOOOWWW! No-one can defeat me, mua ha ha ha ha!!! Not even YOU Scourge!!!! Because I'm TIGERSTAR! KING of the IDIOTS!! And I shall kill you!!!

NOW THATS FUNNY!!!!

[Onyxfur aka *~ AITCH~*]

Yay! You are posting again! ^^ One thing, don't you mean Brokenstar, not Crookedstar???

[flamestripe]

OMG! Yes, I do. I'll modify that. Also, I think I'll to 2nd series as well. But sadly I haven't read Dawn and Starlight, and it's been ages since I read the first two, so I'll probably just stick to the 1st series.

[flamestripe]

Second Series Death
Hawkfrost

Hawkfrost and Brambleclaw have just found Firestar who is trapped in a fox trap.
Brambleclaw: Hey!
Hawkfrost: Hey!
Brambleclaw: Are you copying me?
Hawkfrost: No, I just couldn't think of anything else to say.
Brambleclaw: Um..(shrugs) Okay.
Firestar: I do exist you know.
Brambleclaw: I know...wait...who said that? (looks around everywhere apart from where Firestar is)
Firestar: I know this probably won't happen but...Hawkfrost...HELP ME!!!!!
Hawkfrost: Who said that?! (looks around everywhere apart from where Firestar is)
Firestar: I wonder where Tigerstar's family got their strange strange ways from.
Brambleclaw: Who said my father's name?!
Hawkfrost: Who said MY father's name?!
Brambleclaw: Aghh, you're copying me again!
Hawkfrost: But someone said my father's....Aghh!
Brambleclaw: There! You said aghh! (leaps onto Hawkfrost) I said aghh too. That proves you're copying me! And by the way, the voice said MY father's name, not yours!
Hawkfrost: No, Tigerstar is my father! (dies)
Brambleclaw: Wait, dosn't that mean we're brothers? (looks down at his brother's dead body) Oops.
Firestar: Can you help me now?

[ladybird]

Do Scourge please!

[Dovewing]

Quote: Brambleclaw: Wait, dosn't that mean we're brothers? (looks down at his brother's dead body) Oops.

Dovewing: *Laughs head off* ohh! Do Scrouge!!!!!