Post by Dovewing on Apr 24, 2008 16:00:38 GMT -5
Ok... so, this is not only my first humor, but my first fan fiction period. So, tell me if i need to change anything, but don't be to mean. This is a rewrite of the first book, were redtail is a zombie, greypaw steals my magic pencil, and for some reason, all my characters think I'm a boy... so, yeah.
rating: bot' PG
pairings: none
Chapters:no idea
did i miss one?
so anyways, here is chapter 1 =^..^=
Ch. 1
Rusty:*Trys to catch mouse* Lands on top of it by accident* *Mouse bites his paw* Ow!
Rusty:*wakes up because he has to go to bathroom*
Housefolk: Hello Rusty. Have a nice dream?
Rusty: Well, a mouse bit my paw, and now I have to go to bathroom.
Housefolk:*only hears him go "mew mew mew"* Oh! you must be hungry! *Pours out bag of kitty num-nums*
Rusty:Yuck! I'm supposed to eat this stuff? *eats a mouthful* Ug, I'd rather have a mouse, or a bird. Or a hot dog.
Rusty:*Relives himself at litter box.* Is bored so he decides to go outside* Realizes that he is thirsty, so he decides to get a drink at the pond in back yard.* At the first slurp...
Rusty: Yuck! What is this stuff?!
Smudge:*Was watching the whole time in bushes* Started laughing like crazy when Rusty drank from pond.* Rusty, It's vinegar! I filled your pond with vinegar!
Rusty:Well, that explains the dead fish... but Smudge, bleack!
Smudge:*Continues to laugh like crazy*
Rusty:So, what's in the forest?
Smudge:There are a lot of stuff, like birds, mice, and wild cats that will rip you limb from limb and eat your bones. Nice neighborhood, huh?
Rusty:OK, so stay away from forest. Thanks for the info!
Dovewing:Go into the forest.
Rusty:What?
Smudge:Who are you?
Dovewing:I'm the author, and if you don't go into the forest right now, meet greypaw, beat him in battle, and be accepted as part of the clan, then I'm gonna use this magic pencil on you! *Shows
them magic pencil*
Smudge:What can a pencil do?
Dovewing:*points magic pencil eraser at smudge, who suddenly loses all his fur without warning*
Smudge:*hides in bush while blushing a shade of red that put Dovewing off strawberry jam for life.*
Rusty:I have a urge to go into the forest!
Smudge:Don't say i didn't warn you, and give me my fur back!
Dovewing:*Points magic pencil at smudge, who gets twice as much fur as before* Oops, haven't mastered the magic pencil yet...
Rusty:*Goes into forest*
----------
Rusty:Are we there yet?
Dovewing:No.
----------
Rusty:Are we there yet?
Dovewing:No!
----------
Rusty:Are we there-
Greypaw:Heeya!
Rusty:Ouff! *got hit by Greypaw in the stomach*
Dovewing:OK, everyone back to there corners!
Greypaw:*goes back to his corner of wrestler ring that no one knows how it got there*
Dovewing:*Gives Rusty a towel and a drink of water* OK, now to become a member of the clan-
Rusty:The what?
Dovewing:Don't interrupt me, now, to become a mem. of the clan, all you have to do is beat this guy, just like in the original story.
Rusty:You mean I did this already?
Dovewing:Sorta- Anyways, you going to be able to defeat this guy. Now go in there and fight like a cat!
Rusty:*Go's into ring with Greypaw* After 30 seconds starts running for his life*
Rusty back at house: Wasn't I supposed to win that fight?
Dovewing:Uh, yeah, you were, so I'm gonna use my magic pencil to rewind...
Rewind Rewind Rewind
Rusty and Greypaw fighting:*Greypaw slashes in slow motion*
Rusty:*In normal speed moves out of way and punches Greypaw in face*
Greypaw:Ouff! Hey, you have a great left hook! Ow! And a good right hook too!
Rusty:Really?
Greypaw:Yup, but not as good as mine!*lunges at Rusty* Misses* Starts laughing*
Rusty:*Laughs as well*
Greypaw:Want to join our clan?
Dovewing:It's not your choice, it's your leaders! Isn't she supposed to show up by now?
Bluestar and Lionheart:*Comes into clearing*
Bluestar:sorry were late! I had a dentist appointment. I had my teeth whitened.*smiles, half blinds Dovewing*
Dovewing:Ahh! My eyes! My eyes! *Starts running around* Bonks into tree* Falls unconscious*
Bluestar:Ignores the whole thing* So, anyways, I saw you fight Greypaw. You were impressive!
Rusty:But you just got here!
Bluestar:I had Lionheart videotape it. So, anyways, do you want to join the clan?
Rusty:Yes, but can I join tomorrow? I have a yoga class at seven thirty tonight.
Bluestar:Fine, tomorrow. Come, Lionheart, Greypaw. *Turns around and walks away, Lionheart follows*
Greypaw:*Sneaks up to unconscious body of Dovewing* The magic pencil is mine! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Runs of with Dovewing's magic pencil, wallet, and I-pod*
Rusty:*Looks at Dovewing's unconsious body* Shrugs* Starts dragging it toward home*
That was ch.1!!!!! It's not as funny as I woulda hoped, but the next chapters are going to be even better!
rating: bot' PG
pairings: none
Chapters:no idea
did i miss one?
so anyways, here is chapter 1 =^..^=
Ch. 1
Rusty:*Trys to catch mouse* Lands on top of it by accident* *Mouse bites his paw* Ow!
Rusty:*wakes up because he has to go to bathroom*
Housefolk: Hello Rusty. Have a nice dream?
Rusty: Well, a mouse bit my paw, and now I have to go to bathroom.
Housefolk:*only hears him go "mew mew mew"* Oh! you must be hungry! *Pours out bag of kitty num-nums*
Rusty:Yuck! I'm supposed to eat this stuff? *eats a mouthful* Ug, I'd rather have a mouse, or a bird. Or a hot dog.
Rusty:*Relives himself at litter box.* Is bored so he decides to go outside* Realizes that he is thirsty, so he decides to get a drink at the pond in back yard.* At the first slurp...
Rusty: Yuck! What is this stuff?!
Smudge:*Was watching the whole time in bushes* Started laughing like crazy when Rusty drank from pond.* Rusty, It's vinegar! I filled your pond with vinegar!
Rusty:Well, that explains the dead fish... but Smudge, bleack!
Smudge:*Continues to laugh like crazy*
Rusty:So, what's in the forest?
Smudge:There are a lot of stuff, like birds, mice, and wild cats that will rip you limb from limb and eat your bones. Nice neighborhood, huh?
Rusty:OK, so stay away from forest. Thanks for the info!
Dovewing:Go into the forest.
Rusty:What?
Smudge:Who are you?
Dovewing:I'm the author, and if you don't go into the forest right now, meet greypaw, beat him in battle, and be accepted as part of the clan, then I'm gonna use this magic pencil on you! *Shows
them magic pencil*
Smudge:What can a pencil do?
Dovewing:*points magic pencil eraser at smudge, who suddenly loses all his fur without warning*
Smudge:*hides in bush while blushing a shade of red that put Dovewing off strawberry jam for life.*
Rusty:I have a urge to go into the forest!
Smudge:Don't say i didn't warn you, and give me my fur back!
Dovewing:*Points magic pencil at smudge, who gets twice as much fur as before* Oops, haven't mastered the magic pencil yet...
Rusty:*Goes into forest*
----------
Rusty:Are we there yet?
Dovewing:No.
----------
Rusty:Are we there yet?
Dovewing:No!
----------
Rusty:Are we there-
Greypaw:Heeya!
Rusty:Ouff! *got hit by Greypaw in the stomach*
Dovewing:OK, everyone back to there corners!
Greypaw:*goes back to his corner of wrestler ring that no one knows how it got there*
Dovewing:*Gives Rusty a towel and a drink of water* OK, now to become a member of the clan-
Rusty:The what?
Dovewing:Don't interrupt me, now, to become a mem. of the clan, all you have to do is beat this guy, just like in the original story.
Rusty:You mean I did this already?
Dovewing:Sorta- Anyways, you going to be able to defeat this guy. Now go in there and fight like a cat!
Rusty:*Go's into ring with Greypaw* After 30 seconds starts running for his life*
Rusty back at house: Wasn't I supposed to win that fight?
Dovewing:Uh, yeah, you were, so I'm gonna use my magic pencil to rewind...
Rewind Rewind Rewind
Rusty and Greypaw fighting:*Greypaw slashes in slow motion*
Rusty:*In normal speed moves out of way and punches Greypaw in face*
Greypaw:Ouff! Hey, you have a great left hook! Ow! And a good right hook too!
Rusty:Really?
Greypaw:Yup, but not as good as mine!*lunges at Rusty* Misses* Starts laughing*
Rusty:*Laughs as well*
Greypaw:Want to join our clan?
Dovewing:It's not your choice, it's your leaders! Isn't she supposed to show up by now?
Bluestar and Lionheart:*Comes into clearing*
Bluestar:sorry were late! I had a dentist appointment. I had my teeth whitened.*smiles, half blinds Dovewing*
Dovewing:Ahh! My eyes! My eyes! *Starts running around* Bonks into tree* Falls unconscious*
Bluestar:Ignores the whole thing* So, anyways, I saw you fight Greypaw. You were impressive!
Rusty:But you just got here!
Bluestar:I had Lionheart videotape it. So, anyways, do you want to join the clan?
Rusty:Yes, but can I join tomorrow? I have a yoga class at seven thirty tonight.
Bluestar:Fine, tomorrow. Come, Lionheart, Greypaw. *Turns around and walks away, Lionheart follows*
Greypaw:*Sneaks up to unconscious body of Dovewing* The magic pencil is mine! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Runs of with Dovewing's magic pencil, wallet, and I-pod*
Rusty:*Looks at Dovewing's unconsious body* Shrugs* Starts dragging it toward home*
That was ch.1!!!!! It's not as funny as I woulda hoped, but the next chapters are going to be even better!