Life in WeirdClan }{ UF and random

[flamestripe]

Title: Life in WeirdClan
Chapters: No idea, short if nobody reads it though
Author: Flamestripe
Pairing: None
Rating: U
Spoilers: None
Summary: Just a random tale of life in a random clan of random cats.
Warning: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors...as you've probably realised
Beta: None
Cover: None
Note: Okay, because I do my parts in bits and it's hard to tell whether I've added anything or not I'll highlight the name of the part a different color if I've changed or added to it. Hopefully this will make it easier for you!

Part 1

It's dawn at WeirdClan camp and the cats are all just beginning to stir, apart from the elders ofcourse. They sleep all day...

(In apprentice den)
Smellpaw: Wake up already! (prods his brother, Logicpaw)
Logicpaw: (asleep) Eh?
Smellpaw: WAKE UP!!!!!!! (yells in Logicpaw's ear)
Logicpaw: (awake) I'm up, I'm up!
Smellpaw: Finally! I've been waiting here for MOONS!
Logicpaw: Well, logically you've only been there for around 30 seconds.
Smellpaw: How do you know?
Logicpaw: I was pretending to be asleep.
Smellpaw: ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!(yells head off angrily)
Logicpaw: (looks at Smellpaw yelling his head off idly and yawns) Eh? Did you say something?
Smellpaw: (glares at Logicpaw) Whatever. We'd better go see if our mentors are awake.
(Smellpaw and Logicpaw pad outside and bump into their mother, Boringtail)
Logicpaw: Hi Boringtail!
Smellpaw: Hi mum! Hey, um. Can I ask you something?
Boringtail: (dully) I guess.
Smellpaw: Why am I called Smellpaw?
Boringtail: (flatly) Because I gave you the name Smell and all apprentices must have...
Smellpaw: Yeah, I know! But why did you give me the name Smell?
Boringtail: Because you smell.
Logicpaw: Yeah, haven't you ever noticed that?
Smellpaw: No. (light bulb appears above head) So that's why you all seemed so scentless! I thought I had a blocked nose but it was because I smell more than you do, which is a good thing!
Logicpaw: No it's not, for two reasons. Firstly, it's a bad smell which reminds me of crowfood. Secondly, it will be easier for prey and enemies to scent you...
Smellpaw: Why must you both be so BORING?!
Boringtail: I have to go now. See you later. (walks off)
Logicpaw: What a random conversation.
Smellpaw: Yah.
Logicpaw: Hey, hey, our mentors are over there! (charges off and sprays dust all over Smellpaw)
Smellpaw: Hey...!(swallows dust and begins to choke madly)
Logicpaw: Are you okay?
Smellpaw: (chokes madly and head begins to turn purple because he can't breathe)
Logicpaw: How are you doing that?! I mean logically cats' heads CAN'T change color!
Smellpaw: (continues choking madly and his head is a bright magenta)
Logicpaw: Worrystar! Come here, quick!
Worrystar: (runs out of den, trips over a rock and flies into the sky uncontrollably and lands on Smellpaw and thunds him several times on the back which stops him choking) Huh? What is it? Nobody's DEAD are they? Or injured? Or have been stolen? Or...
Smellpaw: (to Logicpaw) I HATE you!
Logicpaw: Why? I was just admiring your color changing trick, which is completely illogical.
Smellpaw: Because I was CHOKING you weirdo and I couldn't BREATHE and I was going to DIE...
Worrystar: Die? Die? Who's going to die? Wait, who's DEAD?! TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!
Logicpaw: (looks at leader) Nobody. Well, not now anyway. (turns to Smellpaw) Sorry about that. Anyway, we're SO late for training, we'd better hurry!
Smellpaw: Yeah. (they run off to their mentors which are all the way on the other side of WeirdClan's giant camp)
Worrystar:(When Logicpaw and Smellpaw are out of sight) I still don't understand who's dead!
(When Logicpaw and Smellpaw finally reach their mentors)
Smellpaw: That...*pant*...was quite a... *pant* run.
Logicpaw: Yeah...... *pant pant*
Lionthroat: Where did you-ROOAARR!!!!-run from?
Smellpaw: (whispering to Logicpaw)It's obvious why he's called Lionthroat.
Logicpaw: (whispering back) Yeah. (normal volume) We ran from the apprentice den which is on the other side of camp.
Hyperclaw: Wow! That's sounds SO cool! I wanna do it too! It's sounds so fun! Ooh, I'm SO excited!
Smellpaw: (whispering to Logicpaw)It's obvious why he's called Hyperclaw.
Logicpaw: I KNOW! (cheeks turn bright red in embarrasment at screaming before her mentor) Wait, did you see that? I changed colour!! (does a happy jig)
Hyperclaw: Wow, wow, WOW! That's, like, so COOL! I wanna do it too! It's SO cool! (joins in with the jig by randomly flailing legs everywhere)
Lionthroat: Can we-ROOOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!-get some-ROOAAARRR!!!!-training done? (Logicpaw and Hyperclaw stop dancing)
Smellpaw: That was, weird.
Hyperclaw: Ooh, ooh! Where are we going? Can we go somewhere? I LOVE going somewhere! Somewhere is SO COOL! Yeah!
Logicpaw: (blinks in disbelief at her mentor)
Lionthroat: Of course we're-ROOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!-going to go somewhere! Where else are we-ROOOOAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!-meant to go?
Smellpaw: Nowhere?
Lionthroat: ROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!! How DARE you disagree with ME!!!!!! I'll-ROOAAAARRRRRR!-rip you APART!!!!!
Safepelt: (who just happens to be running past) No ripping! It's not safe at all! (runs past)
Lionthroat: (to Safepelt) How dare YOU disagree with ME!!! ROOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! (runs after Safepelt)
Smellpaw: There goes my mentor.
Hyperclaw: Like, wasn't that so SO cool!!! They should do it again! And again! That would be, like, the best thing in my life if they did it again!
Logicpaw: You know, sunhigh is approaching and we still haven't done any training. That just ISN'T logical!
Smellpaw: So what? Let's go and grab some prey from the pile.
Hyperclaw: Yeah! That's like..like such a COOL idea! We should do it RIGHT NOW! Yeah!
Logicpaw: But we haven't done any training! It'll be breaking the warrior code!
Smellpaw: Who cares?
Perfectear: (who also just happens to be running past) No breaking the warrior code! It isn't perfect!
Smellpaw: Why do all these cats just happen to be running past at the right time?
Logicpaw: I don't know. It isn't logical.
Hyperclaw: I'm BORED! It's NOT cool to be bored. I wanna do something NOW!
Smellpaw: Yeah, Logicpaw. Obey your mentor. Let's go get some food.
Logicpaw: Whatever. Don't blame me if Worrystar rips your to shreds!
Safepelt: (who just happens to be limping past with scratches all over her) No ripping to shreds. It's not safe at all!

End of part.

[courageheart]

lol sounds like the clan where my bro's charecter weirdfoot would be!!!!!my charecter certainly wouldn't last two hours there lol!

[Dovewing]

I like Hyperclaw that's my favorite character so far!

[courageheart]

i like lionthroat!!!!!but seriously courageheart would die within two hours of staying there!!!!lmao,love the weirdclan thing!weirdfoot would definatly fit in there!

[Raincloud]

That was awesome.

I'm probably most like Worrystar.

...I still don't understand who's dead!

[flamestripe]

Part 2

Smellpaw, Logicpaw and Hyperclaw are approaching the fresh-kill pile and it's nearly sunhigh.

Smellpaw: Hmm, let's see. A mouse, a mouse, a mouse, a mouse and a mouse. Where's the variety?!
Logicpaw: Technically there shouldn't just be mice!
Hyperclaw: (munching on a thrush) Don't ask me! I like, didn't do ANYTHING!
Smellpaw: Do you want a mouse?
Logicpaw: (stares at her brother) What else am I meant to have?
Smellpaw: Erm...two mice?
Hyperclaw: (who's now swallowed) Or three mice! Or FOUR mice! Or even FIVE mice! Or perhaps all the mice in the WORLD!! That'd be so....
Logicpaw: We get the idea.
(Lionthroat pads towards them)
Lionthroat: You're breaking the-ROOOOOOOOOAAAARRR!!!-warrior code! How dare you-ROOOOOAAARR!!!!!-break our ancestors' code!
Logicpaw: It was Smellpaw's idea!!!
Smellpaw: No way! We were just obeying Hyperclaw, as he's Logicpaw's mentor!
Hyperclaw: I ate a MOUSE! Isn't that so COOOL?!
Lionthroat: I'm amazed Perfectear didn't scratch.....
Safepelt: (who just happens to be limping past) No scratching...AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (runs off after seeing Lionthroat)
Lionthroat: As I was saying, I'm amazed Perfectear didn't scratch you to pieces!
Smellpaw: Yeah, me too. (sarcasticly) It isn't LOGICAL.
Logicpaw: Hey! That's MY catchphrase!
Hyperclaw: (looks up) Look! It's sunhigh..AGGHHHHHH! (runs around after being blinded by the sun) HELP ME! I'M DYING! DYING IS LIKE NOT COOL!!!!!!
Worrystar: (runs out of den to where Hyperclaw is running) Oh no! Call the ambulance! the fire engine! The police!!!!
Smellpaw: Erm, Worrystar? We're CATS. We don't HAVE those things.
Worrystar: Oh, I've been reading too many twoleg books.
All: WHAT??!!!!!!
Worrystar: Nothing! But who's dying? Huh?
Lionthroat: That stupid-ROOAARRR!!-Hyperclaw. He looked at the sun.
Perfectear: (who is running past) No insulting! It isn't perfect!
Lionthroat: How DARE you-ROOOAAAAAARRRR!-disagree with ME!!!! (runs after Perfectear)
Smellpaw: There goes my mentor, again.
Logicpaw: This is the most illogical day ever.
Worrystar: (who is chasing after Hyperclaw) Hyperclaw! Don't die! He's DYING! Oh no! He CAN'T die! HYPERCLAW!!!
Randomleaf: (the medicine cat, who hears Worrystar) What's wrong? I like voles!
Logicpaw: Hyperclaw seems to be dying.
Randomleaf: Oh no! Why? Is it because the sky is blue?
Smellpaw: No...it's because the sun is bright.
Randomleaf: Water is wet! Okay, I'll give him some poppy seeds. (returns into den)
Logicpaw: She's very random.
Randomleaf: (emerges with a few poppy seeds and chases after Worrystar and Hyperclaw) Wait for.....I DROPPED THE SEEDS! Birds can fly.
Logicpaw: I think we're the only sane cats in this clan.
Smellpaw: No way! You're all logical. My personality is....
Perfectear: (who is limping past with memories of thousands of insults thrown at her) No arguing. It isn't perfect.
Smellpaw: Perfectear and Safepelt, they're sisters aren't they?
Logicpaw: Yep.
Worrystar: (who'd just been searching for the seeds) I found them!
Randomleaf: Oh good! (looks at the seeds) Yay! I'll go give them to Hyperclaw! I'm a cat! (runs after Hyperclaw who somehow hasn't managed to bump into anything though he has his eyes closed) Eat these! (stuffs seeds down Hyperclaw's throat)
Hyperclaw: H-help me! I'm D-DYING! My throat is CLOSING!!!!
Worrystar: You've KILLED him! Nooo!!!!!!!!!! (Hyperclaw falls asleep but all think he's died) HYPERCLAW!!!
Randomleaf: The seeds must have gone bad! Twolegs have two legs!
Lionthroat: (who has returned aftre insulting Perfectear) Yay! He's-ROOOAAAARRRR!- dead! Can we kick him?
(Perfectear and Safepelt are limping past)
Perfectear: No celebrating death! It's....AHHHHH!!!! (runs off)
Safepelt: No kicking! It's....HEEEEELLLLPPPP!!! (runs off)
Lionthroat: (confused) Why does everybody run away from me?
Logicpaw: My mentor has just died.
Smellpaw: That doesn't happen everyday.
(they suddenly burst into tears)
Worrystar: (Leaps onto highrock) Our brave warrior, Hyperclaw, has just died. Tonight any cat may lie with him for the last time and say farewell. (leaps off to share tongues with Hyperclaw)
All the cats in WeirdClan (which is a lot hence the size of camp): (crowd in to share tongues with Hyperclaw)
Hyperclaw: (wakes up) Wow! I like, didn't know i was so...so POPULAR! I'm POPULAR!!! Isn't that so COOL everybody???
Worrystar: You're ALIVE?? But....
Randomleaf: Perhaps rotten poppy seeds can revive the dead... Kittypets wear collars.
Logicpaw: HYPERCLAW!!!! I mean, urm.....Yay! Can we do some training now?
Smellpaw: Logicpaw, after all that's happened today you're still thinking about TRAINING?!!
All cats but Logicpaw, Smellpaw, Randomleaf, Hyperclaw, Lionthroat, Worrystar: UGHH! What's that smell? (run off)
Smellpaw: Huh?
Logicpaw: I told you you stunk.
Lionthroat: No!! He's not-ROOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!-dead!
Hyperclaw: Well I was but then I came back alive! Isn't that SOOOO cool? I wanna do it again!!!!
Lionthroat: Be my guest. Except this time I'm going to throw you into the river.
Hyperclaw: I can swim!!!
Lionthroat: Sure you can.
Worrystar: Phew...nobody died....did they? DID anybody die? TELL ME!!!!!
Randomleaf: Nobody died. Trees have trunks.
Worrystar: Good. (goes back into den)
Randomleaf: Mice taste nice. (goes back into den)
Hyperclaw: Yeah, mice DO taste nice! I ate one earlier! You should too! It was so COOLLL!!!!!
Lionthroat: Anybody actually want-ROOOOAAAAARRRR!!!-to train?
Logicpaw: Ye-(splutters as Smellpaw stuffs his tail in her mouth)
Smellpaw: Nope!
Lionthroat: Good. I don't want to-ROOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!-either.
Smellpaw: (withdraws tail) Lionthroat. Can you actually help that you roar?
Lionthroat: (shrugs and goes back to den)
Logicpaw: I hate y- (stops as Perfectear walks past) -ou Smellpaw!
Perfectear: I heard that!

This part is done. The colour changed!

[Wildstar]

I like it, but it isnt as funny as your other one...

Logicpaw- My mentor has just died.
Smellpaw- That doesn't happen every day.


LOL!

I cracked up as soon as I saw Smellpaw. Funny name!!!!
I like Hyperclaw!