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Post by Tawnyfire on Oct 27, 2007 22:12:36 GMT -5
FRIDAY NIGHT: Bar Night
"So why are we going to wherever we are going?" Crowpaw asked Graypaw. The crackhead didn't even acknowledge him. "Don't answer me then!" Crowpaw whined.
"Crowpaw, listen, and shut up!" Graypaw growled and walked faster down the dorms.
Crowpaw sat in silence for 5 minutes.
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
And five more minutes...
Okay, it was actually thirty seconds but Alyson feels she can exagerrate a little bit here. Work with me! Anyway, it was when they reached the elevators that Crowpaw spoke agan. "What am I supposed to be listening for?" Graypaw smacked his forehead.
"And here I thought I would be able to go a minute... darnit!" Graypaw cursed, staring at the top of the elevator. The smoky gray furred tom looked back at Crowpaw when he found a black paw waving in front of him. "Oh! You said something?"
"Erm, nothing. Where are we going?" Crowpaw inquired.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeell, me, Ravenpaw, Firepaw, Sorrelpaw, and Cinderpaw all decided that you need to go down to the Warrior High bar! Even through it's mainly for high schoolers and stuff, they still will serve the sixth and seventh grade booze and all that! But... the thing is, to come, you have to bring a friend so I'm bringing Cinderpaw and you get Sorrelpaw!" He said cheerily.
"Uhh, did it ever occur to you that maybe Ravenpaw and Firepaw don't have anybody to go with?" Crowpaw asked with a sly smirk. Graypaw rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me..." Graypaw nodded his head. "GRAYPAW! THAT IS SICK IN EVERY WAY!" Crowpaw yowled.
"Hey! We ran out of females! And plus, the bar is only open on Friday nights and no elementary apprentices and kits can come! I've been waiting my whole life to go to one of these!' Graypaw exclaimed in a louder voice. Crowpaw swore that if this was an anime cartoon, he would have a sweat drop on his right temple by now.
"Can we just get going?" He asked.
"Er... right" Graypaw replied when the elevator stopped. "To the bar!" And with that, he struck a pose.
---
Crowpaw and Graypaw sat at a marble - tan colored table, Graypaw having his hindpaws propped up against the edge of the table. Beside them, Sorrelpaw and Cinderpaw sat in their red colored dresses, Firepaw and Ravenpaw sighing with relief that they didn't have to act gay anymore.
The waitresses all started going to the tables, most of them being Shadowstar, Windstar, Morningflower, and Goldenflower along with a few others. A loud noise alerted Crowpaw from his daze, the noise coming from the doors.
"Hey girls! Sandy's in the house!" Squirrelpaw and Whitepaw announced. The ginger she - cat and white she - cat both sidestepped as most toms without a date stared in awe. Sandpaw emerged in the room with Stormpaw at her side, his smoky gray fur shining and polished to perfection.
On each side of Sandpaw and Stormpaw, all of their friends started to lay out a red carpet and form a barricade around them. And it just so happened and that Crowpaw and his friends had the table closest to the stage.
"STORMY! THEY STOLE OUR TABLE!" Sandpaw whined in yowl - like fashion. Without thinking, Ivypaw and Tawnypaw raced over to Crowpaw and Graypaw.
Tawnypaw put a tortoiseshell furred paw on her hips and said: "Uhh, you are, like, like uglying up our table. Please move before we get Foxpaw and Bramblepaw to make you move" She smirked. Cinderpaw laughed.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, if you insist" Cinderpaw laughed and then inhaled. " I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS " I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S 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EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS:" I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT GOES LIKE THIS:: EVERYBODY'S NERVES!"
But unfortuantely, Tawnypaw and Ivypaw couldn't take the sheer stupidity of the song and ran off, holding their ears and wiping off Cinderpaw's spit which had by now, accumulated on their 'pretty' fur.
"Come on girls! We'll go get the NEW best table!" Squirrelpaw insisted to Sandpaw.
"Thank you Squirrelpaw" Sandpaw replied, sending a death glare to Crowpaw and company. As soon as the ginger she - cat walked off, Crowpaw high - fived Cinderpaw.
"As much as I hate to say this, Cinderpaw, your loud mouth has actually helped us" Sorrelpaw sighed. "Now, I'm hungry and we have nothing to do until Fall Out Cat comes. Where's the waitress?" She asked, turnign around and looking around.
"Umm, Sorrelpaw, look behind you" Ravenpaw pointed out. Sorrelpaw turned around to see the shape of Morningflower standing over her with a notepad in her right paw, pen in the left.
"Hello, I'm Morningflower and I work at the bar every Friday. Would you like something to drink while we get everybody seated, Food will be served shortly" She greeted with a warm smile. Surprisingly, she IS straight and IS married to Deadfoot.
"Erm, I'll take a Diet Dr. Mouse Blood, water for Mr. Emo over there---" Cinderpaw decided to speak for her friends, pointing to Firepaw at said time.
"Yo" He only answered and went back to slitting his wrist. Morningflower nodded and started to scribble furiously down their orders.
"Let's see, I'll take a Thrush Wing. Easy on the vodka" Ravenpaw ordered.
"I'll take liquid crack" Graypaw told her. Morningflower turned her head to the side, giving Graypaw a questioningly glance. "Fine, regular Mouse Blood" He sighed.
"And I guess me and Sorrelpaw will simply settle for two Malted Voles, take out the alcohol" Crowpaw ordered for he and the tortoiseshell she - cat. Morningflower gave a short farewell and turned on heel to head towards the kitchen. "Okay, while we wait for Fall Out Cat, anybody want have any interesting news?"
"Good idea, I've been trying to get Minnowpaw to go out with me" Graypaw motioned to Minnowpaw with his tail.
The gray and white she - cat was steadily stirring her drink with a bored expression, her fur was fluffed up and shining in the lighting which would soon become dim when Fall Out Cat appeared. "Nah, Graypaw, you should try and date Sparrowpaw instead. Minnowpaw wouldn't even dream of you" Ravenpaw snickered.
"Hey, I can keep trying can't I?" Graypaw inquired with a short laugh. Crowpaw and Firepaw rolled their eyes. "By the way" He added, looking at Firepaw. "Ya know, Firepaw, you should dye your fur or something. That would look awesome on you" He suggested.
"Maybe. Later" He replied, casting a forlorn look at his razor which was being gripped in his paw tightly.
"So, while we wait, what you guys wanna order?" Ravenpaw interupted. Crowpaw looked down at his menu and grabbed it, hurridly scanning down the list. He traced the lines with one claw, reading each of the items until he stopped at one in particular.
"Here we go, BBQ Ribs, french fries, a baked potato, stuffed, potato salad with crawfish dipped in it, and a salad on the side. Any drink of choice. And it only cost 15 mouse tails" Crowpaw announced. "Sounds good to me" He added.
"Well I might go with a shrew burger" Ravenpaw explained. Crowpaw and Firepaw both shrugged their shoulders before Firepaw stuffed his head back into his menu.
"Chaffinch. Gumbo" Firepaw said.
"I think me and Cinderpaw might get a rabbit steak. What about you, Graypaw?" Sorrelpaw asked. Graypaw set his menu down and had a smug grin plastered across his face, paws crossed against his chest.
"I'm ordering a cow" He said slyly. Crowpaw, Ravenpaw, and Cinderpaw's jaws dropped.
"Did you just say you were ordering a COW?" Cinderpaw asked in disbelief.
"Yep, sure did. A whole cow for only 500 mouse tails."
"How much money do you parents have?" Sorrelpaw asked.
"Well, my dad, Patchpelt, is mayor of Thunderclan, my mother, Willowpelt, is a prostitue working for the Secret Service... she's always going off to random countries and making out with princes and kings... don't ask about my life. It's pretty messed up" Graypaw replied with a short sigh.
"Well I guess my life would be messed up too if I smoked crack all day" A passing Talonpaw snorted. Graypaw shot him a death glare.
"Pie, tis a wonderful thing"
"Well that was random... Sorrelpaw said to Cinderpaw.
"I know!" She said cheerily. "I got it from some fanfiction on fanfiction .net from some story called Welcome to Warrior High's reviews, a few authors named Rabbitstorm, Flamepelt's Wrath...and a few others actually. But I really have no idea how I know this" Cinderpaw smirled cheekily afterwards.
---
"This food taste awesome!" Graypaw announced loudly.
"Graypaw, we all know how much you like to eat, but that is the fifteenth time you have said that" Sorrelpaw reminded the smoke furred apprentice. Graypaw only laughed a little bit.
"But I must announce it dearest Sorrelpaw!" He chuckled. He only found a carrot coming at his eyes.
"THE WORLDS GOING TO END! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DONT WANNA DIE! I DONT WANNA! I DONT WANNA! I DONT WANNNA! MOMMY HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PLEASE! THE CARRORTS ARE ATTACKING US!" Ravenpaw shrieked.
"Ravenpaw, calm down." Firepaw said. The flame colored apprentice looked ready to bash his head into the finely polished tables, all to vent out his frustration.
Ravenpaw was now inhaling a lot, sweat already starting to drip of his whiskers and tail tip. "Good Starclan, Ravenpaw, I would almost swear that your were about to go meet Scourge for a cup of sugar!" Sorrelpaw joked.
"It's not funny!" he growled. His claws were already flexing.
"Yes it is" Crowpaw taunted.
"No it isn't!" Ravenpaw shot back.
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn't!"
"Yes it is"
"HEY LOOK! IT'S FALL OUT CAT!" Cinderpaw shrieked, nearly falling out her chair in fan girl - ness.
And it was true, appearing on stage, was Fall Out Cat, the band which consisted of Greenpool, Griffenflash, Phoenixflight, Flamefeather, and Hotsauce.
Of course, nobody knows how Hotsauce got his name, except for his girlfriend who is actually a bisexual. But that's a whooooooooole nother story there. (Hey! I'm from Louisiana! I can use words like nother on here!)
Crowpaw started clapping along with the rest of the crowd, mainly Ivypaw and Whitepaw who were fainting at the mere sight of Phoenixflight, the lead yowler. "Are you guys ready for tonight?" He announced in the microphone.
A loud yowl erupted from the crowd.
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Post by Tawnyfire on Oct 27, 2007 22:12:59 GMT -5
"I'll take that as a yes!" He added. "Now tonight, we will be performing, Thnks Fr Th Mmrs!" And with that, he stepped back and started to play Thnks Fr Th Mmrs.
Im gonna make it bend and break, They sent you to me without wings, Say a prayer, but let the good times roll, In case God doesn't show, Let the good times roll (Let the good times roll) And I want these words to make things right, But its the wrong's that make the words come to life, Who does he think he is? If that's the worst you've got, Better put your fingers back to the key.
One night and one more time, Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great, He tastes like you, only sweeter, One night, yea, one more time, Thanks for the memories, Thanks for the memories, See, he tastes like you, only sweeter. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Been looking forward to the future, But my eyesight is going bad, And this crystal ball is, Always cloudy except for (except for), When you look into the past (look into the past), One night stand (One night stand, oh)
One night and one more time, Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great, He tastes like you, only sweeter, One night, yea, one more time, Thanks for the memories, Thanks for the memories, See, he tastes like you, only sweeter. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
They say I only think, In the form of crunching numbers, In hotel rooms, collecting Page Six lovers, Get me out of my mind, and get you out of those clothes. Im a liner away from getting you into the mood. Woah-oh.
One night and one more time, Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great, He tastes like you, only sweeter, One night, (Woah) Yea (Woah) one more time, Thanks for the memories, Thanks for the memories, See, he tastes like you, only sweeter. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
One more night, One more time, Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great, He tastes like you, only sweeter, One (more) night, Yea one more time, Thanks for the memories, Thanks for the memories, See, he tastes like you, only sweeter. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
The crowd started to cheer.
"PHOENIXFLIGHT IS SO HOT!" Cinderpaw yowled. The band bowed and moved onto a calmer song to let the cats eat.
"Ya know, we should do this kind of thing more often" Ravenpaw suggested.
"All we have to do is come here every Friday. And notice Shortwhisker, Owlpaw, and their friends aren't here. Nor Kestrelpaw, Leafpaw, Harepaw, Cody, and their friends. I think it was something about that if you have a KNOWN history of being a nerd or a gay then they won't let you in"
"Well that's... helpful. Note to self, never change to be attracted to the opposit sex" Sorrelpaw joked.
"Fair. Point." Firepaw said in his cool emo voice. Ya know ya love it.
"So now what?" Crowpaw asked, flipping his tussle of fur out of his eyes.
"I say we PARTAY!" Cinderpaw screeched and dashed off to go dance with the nearest tom.
"So what should we do tommorrow?" Crowpaw asked. "It is Saturday after all"
Graypaw put a paw to his head and tapped it.
"Good question... maybe we should go swimming or something... or we could always go rig the bathrooms. I heard that's what Thistleclaw and Jaggedtooth did last year." Ravenpaw suggested. "Just a thought" He added thoughtfully in a thoughtful thinking thoughts thoughtfully-ish type way.
"Well, how come Thistleclaw gets his full name, shouldn't he still be Thistlepaw or something?" Crowpaw asked.
"Nope! After you've been in the sixth grade for five years or more, they give you the ending. I actually feel sorry for him, being stuck with the newest junior high kids every year. That must be boring" Graypaw snickered. "As for tommorrow, I say we go rig and vandalize the dorms and stuff"
"I'm down with that" Ravenpaw and Crowpaw agreed.
"Well you guys go do that, I'll stay back and laugh I disagree off whenever you both get caught" Sorrelpaw laughed. "Now, I am going to finish eating and then go find out if Cinderpaw has maimed or possibly done worse to Fall Out Cat"
"Well good, we'll be right here and start planning"
"Good, you just do that"
"We will"
Crowpaw hummed to himself.
---
Fall Out Cat had given up. After you have to listen to Cinderpaw say:
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IT GOES LIKE THIS:: EVERYBODY'S NERVES!"
About 50,000 times, over and over, wouldn't you give up too?
So instead, Kitten Park decided to sing some of their songs after Fall Out Cat left. forget the fact that Cinderpaw tried to get all of the band members numbers the whole time, Ravenpaw repeating the world was going to end, Firepaw constantly slitting his wrist, and Sorrelpaw, Graypaw, and Crowpaw all sitting and eating, the night actually went well.
Inevitably, Harepaw snuck inside the bar and ended up with fifteen broken bones by the end of the night.
The poor thing.
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Post by Lightningstar on Oct 27, 2007 22:13:11 GMT -5
Tawnyfire, it doesn't make things any better when you yell at your reviewers.
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Mossleg
New Member
My cat says get off the computer and pet me!!
Posts: 28
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Post by Mossleg on Oct 28, 2007 11:08:46 GMT -5
Did you just tell ME to chill out? L. O. L. Gosh, you try to do the right thing and you get yelled at. Thanks for the explaination, I get it, I understand now. If you had just said that I would have been fine with it. Seriously, take a quick look at yourself before you tell me to "hang the fuck on." It just seems a bit hypocritical to tell me to chill while at the same time flying off the handle. You're lucky I don't get as easily offended. This story is good, I'm just pointing out that people could be offended by some of it. You are posting this where anyone can read it, you know...you've got to be considerate.
Edit: I've thought about what I said, and I admit, I did make an assumption about your writing that was probably untrue. I am not happy that you responded so...vehemently. But the very fact that you defended yourself like that shows that you are not a bigot at all, and that you don't want to be associated with them, and I admire that. But look, you really do need to chill out a bit. if you can't take criticism, than maybe you should think a bit about posting writing at all.
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Post by .Swiftclaw. on Oct 28, 2007 15:19:16 GMT -5
LOLLLL!!!!!!!!! That was sooo funny!!! (again)
"Fair. Point." Firepaw said in his cool emo voice. Ya know ya love it. - I do!!!!!!!!!!
Yay! Kitten Park and Fall out Cat!!! lol ;D
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Post by Tawnyfire on Nov 2, 2007 16:32:27 GMT -5
Crowpaw stared at his sleepy, black fur in the mirror. Small ruffles poked up, trailing down his back to give him the appearance of a drunk, or otherwise very, VERY hungover dragon. In fact, if he hadn't drank so much alcohol the night before, he wouldn't have been in this position.
With an outstrectched paw, he closed the bathroom door silently, careful as to not disturb the sleeping bodies of Graypaw and Ravenpaw, and returned to the mirror. He let out a large, loud yawn which revealed his long, pointed fangs. "Wow, I'm tired..." He yawned.
His blue eyes turned and gave the shower a forlorn look. "A shower." He told himself. Crowpaw yawned again and walked over to the shower. He pulled back the aqua colored shower - curtain and turned on the faucets. Instantly, cold droplets of water ran through his paws, eventually warming up.
When the water had reached Crowpaw's desired temperature, he stepped in the shower. He quickly closed the curtain and turned to face the clear water. The water streamd throughout his fur, creating small pools of water at his hindpaws. He sighed in relief and reached out for the bar of Dial soap.
Crowpaw scrubbed the soap through his unruly fur rather harshly and vigrously. Occasionally, a few bubbles popped in his eyes and he would let out a short welp. It was when he had turned the water up more, and more steam started to come, was when it happened. One of the most disturbing moments he could think of.
As it was, Crowpaw was getting down to picking out fleas that leapt off of Phoenixflight that night, it was a well - known fact that the lead singer of the band was afraid of water and soap, when he got met by a rather disturbing cat. yes, as you might not know, it was that moment that a gray and white tom shut the door to the bathroom.
Crowpaw perked up his ears to listen and could hear voices. One of them was definately Ravenpaw, and the other was certainly Graypaw. Then who was it that had entered the bathroom?
The black furred apprentice strained his ears and caught what the voices were saying. "Ya know, I think Crowpaw is in there." That was Ravenpaw's distinct voice.
"So? He gets raped by Skywatcher then he gets raped by Skywatcher then." Graypaw was next. And that was what Crowpaw was afraid of. His LOYAL, and TRUSTWORTHY FRIENDS had let SKYWATCHER in the bathroom while HE was taking a SHOWER. Not a good idea at all.
"Erm, my straightener won't turn on!" He heard the high pitched voice of Skywatcher yowl to himself. So he uses a straightener, why the heck in Hellclan would he need a straightener? Crowpaw thought. Obviously, Skywatcher must have not known he was in there. And that's exactly how Crowpaw anted it.
Nope.
No gay, freaky teacher for him. And plus, why was Skywatcher in the dorms? Then he remembered, Hawkpaw wanted to impersonate Eric Cartman and went and disabled the water supply in the teacher's wing on the west side. Knowing Redtail, he probably told the teachers to go use the students.
And oh joy.
Crowpaw.
Got.
SKYWATCHER. Of all the teachers. Not that he ahd anything against the teacher, heck, he hardly even knew him! But from what he'd heard students say, mainly the eigth graders, Tawnyspots and Featherwhisker to be exact, Skywatcher had a thing for scoping out toms.
Crowpaw then wondered is Skywatcher was deaf or something if he wouldn't be able to hear the running water, his thoughts were actually correct when it happened. Something that would scar him for the rest of his life. Skywatcher pulled back the curtain.
Yes.
Pulled back.
The shower curtain, thus, revealing a poor, wet, and semi - cat - like naked Crowpaw.
And all Crowpaw could do was:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" He screamed at the top of his lungs the loudest he could.
"What the?" Skywatcher ask, baffled. It only took Crowpaw two seconds to register everything about Skywatcher:
He was gray and white. Had long fur, most of it accumulating around his neck, making him look a hippie. He was wearing a yellow, red, green, pink, purple, aqua, blue, gray, and orange tie - dye shirt that said in big, black letters: 'Toms rok my sox' as an understatement to try and be cool, when all it did was make him look gay.
Around each of his paws he wore three golden chains with hearts and rainbows, and any other cheesy icon you might want to throw in there, hangin garound it. But what shocked Crowpaw the most was when he actually grabbed Crowpaw and pinned him against the shower wall.
"You're... a tom." Skywatcher said slyly. Crowpaw narrowed his blue eyes and stared at Skywatcher.
"Yes, what did you think I was? A gay like you? No thanks." Crowpaw replied sarcastically.
"A fine looking tom too..." Skywatcher added as if he didn't hear Crowpaw the first time. Crowpaw raised his eyes skeptically. Why can't he frickin' leave me alone!? He yowled in his head.
"Get the fuck away from me!" He yowled and pushed Sjywatcher away. The tom hurridly grabbed his stuff off the counter and raced into the dorm where he found Ravenpaw and Graypaw cracking up. "What's so funny?" He sneered.
"Oh nothing. We just though that a visit from everybody's gay teacher was just what you needed." Graypaw snickered. Crowpaw folded his paws in annoyance. He was friends with WHO?
"And besides, we figured that this way, you would be able to see how weird he is. Best to lock the door and we leave." Ravenpaw said, flaunting the keys in front of Crowpaw's crystal blue eyes as if it were a mouse in leaf - bare.
"But, while we wait for nighttime. Who wants to talk about Crowpaw before he came here? Or why they were sent here?" Graypaw asked, tryign to lighten the mood that hung in the room like a shadow. "Come on, Crowpaw, you first!" He cheered. Crowpaw sighed and fell backwards on his bed with an audible thunk.
"Well... I come from Windclan---"
"Foreigner eh?" Ravenpaw said, trying to do an imitation of Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean. "Me and Graypaw, Sorrelpaw, Cinderpaw, and Firepaw are from Thunderclan. Nice to meet ya Mr. Windclanner." He smiled. Graypaw clouted him behind the ears. "ow..." He growled.
"Anyway, my parents are Tornear and Ashfoot... and I... used to go to Starclan's Learners, a private school for only WIndclanners. Well, my brother, Eaglekit, still goes there and Tornear won't take him out because he was totally against me coming here and he says he wants at least one son to grow up and get a real job." Crowpaw explained.
"You have a brother?" Graypaw asked from his bed. Crowpaw shook his head in reply.
"Is he hot!?" They heard Skywatcher's muffled voice from the bathroom. Ravenpaw got up from his bed, walked over to the now locked bathroom door, and gave it a loud kick to shut the gray and white tom up. "I like 'em when they're fiesty..."
"Eww, that damn, sick, perverted, corrupted, vile, evil, twisted, retarded, stupid, son of a bi---"
"Ah hem, Ravenpaw, the language please." Crowpaw reminded his friend. The black tom turned around, mumbling curses under his breath, his white tipped tail lashing back and forth in annoyance and irritation.
"Aww man, but I wanted to think of some clever line like the one they had on 'John Tucker Must Die'." Ravenpaw whined and crossed his paws.
"Which would be...?" Graypaw asked. Ravenpaw's amber eyes brightened up.
"You know, when that cheerleader - ish person said 'Yea, it'll be like Prime Time Tucker, asta la vista, mother fucka'. That. I think I may want to be a poet when I get older" Ravenpaw replied in a sing - song voice, fluttering around like a butterfly in the spring.
"Graypaw, you really need to STOP giving Ravenpaw marijuana or whatever it is you give him." Crowpaw sighed.
"Maybe..."
---
It was nighttime. Crowpaw had his elbows rested up against the window pane and stared out the window with a long, content sigh. The stars seemed to wink at him everytime one of them would burn out and come back. "Hurry up Graypaw..." He grumbled whilst drumming his claws against the pane.
His breath hit the glass, creating a mist on it in which he wrote his name in. "I'm here!" A voice behind Crowpaw poclaimed loudly.
"It's about time! You got in the darn shower about five hours ago!" Crowpaw spat. Graypaw's whiskers twitched.
"Well excuse me if I was trying to get Skywatcher away from our dorm so he wouldn't rape you. But nevermind, I guess I'll just let you get tom - raped next time!" Graypaw said humorously. This time Crowpaw's whiskers twitched. "But anyway, come on, Ravenpaw is waiting for us in the hall."
Graypaw's gray furred tail lashed back and forth. Crowpaw sighed and got up from his chair and followed. "So where to first?" He asked.
"We, today, are going to go spy on Longtail, Scourge, and Jaggedtooth. Ravenpaw says after that he wants to go rig the bathrooms in the school area." Graypaw replied. Crowpaw nodded his head and opened up the door to the hall.
Outside, Ravenpaw was waiting for them, and what they saw, amazed them. Ravenpaw was singing. And not just any song. He was singing Barbie Girl by Aqua. The black tom weaved back and forth, his white tipped tail flowing with his body as he sang:
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation
Come on, Barbie, let's go party
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation
I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky
You can touch, you can play You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh
Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again Hit the town, fool around, let's go party
You can touch, you can play You can say I'm always yours You can touch, you can play You can say I'm always yours
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation
I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere Imagination, life is your creation
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh
And of course, after he finished the song was when he saw his friends looking at him fearfully. "Come on, Barbie, let's go--- Hi... guys" He said nervously and threw down his microphone that appeared out of nowhere. "Fancy meeeting you here, Graypaw, Crowpaw." He said, looking at one tom to the other.
"What do you mean? You were waiting for us. Now come on! Do you have the camera?" Graypaw asked.
Ravenpaw smiled cheekily and took a camera out of his random fur - pocket that too, appeared out of nowhere. "Got it covered. And it has a full battery so we can keep going alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll night long baby!" He yowled. Crowpaw sighed and cupped a paw over Ravenpaw's muzzle. "Sorry, just the impulse..."
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight." Graypaw said sarcastically. The gray apprentice turned around and bounded down the hall. Crowpaw and Ravenpaw looked at each other and shrugged, and then bounded down the hall after Graypaw. Crowpaw swore he could still hear Ravenpaw humming the Barbie Girl song.
The three friends all halted in front of the door to Jaggedtooth, Longtail, and Scourge's dorm. "Erm Graypaw, I don't think it would be such a bright idea to come in through the door and start video taping them... unless you have a death wish." Crowpaw suggested.
"Excellent idea Agent Crow!" Graypaw replied. "We'll go through the heater!"
"WE'RE GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE IF WE GO THROUGH THE HEATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOOD BYE TO CINDERPAW AND SORRELPAW AND FIREPAW AND MOUSE--- wait, not Mousepaw, anyway, AND MOMMY AND DADDY AND BROTHERY AND SISTERY AND COUSINY AND UNCLEY AND AUNTY AND---"
Crowpaw raised a fist and knocked him dead across the face.
"Thanks, I needed that." Ravenpaw sighed and brushed off an invsible piece of dirt. "So, where's the heater again?"
"This way." Graypaw stated and pointed up above their heads. "This heater runs through every dorm, bathroom-- and yes Hawkpaw, I said bathroom too," Graypaw said to a passing Hawkpaw. The tabby nodded and snickered evilly before running down the hall screaming Dustpaw's name.
"Excellent idea Graypaw, now how do we get in it?" Crowpaw asked smartly.
"Like this." Graypaw replied smugly and picked up Cody and through her at the vent. The she - cat fell to the ground with a thunk and was knocked out. "You get Harepaw and Kestrelpaw. Only together can we get past this barrier!" He announced in a not - so - heroic voice.
"Right." Crowpaw replied and grabbed the now screaming Harepaw and Kestrelpaw and started to throw them at the vent. Ravenpaw resorted to throwing the well known tabby, Leafpaw.
So after twenty minutes of apprentice - nerd - throwing at the vent, it finally was loose enough and one more throw, this time using Ravenpaw since Harepaw got knocked out, the vent fell and the trio leaped in. Crowpaw looked over his shoulder at the limp bodies of the nerds and frowned. He quickly grabbed the cover and put it back.
They could later blame it on Talonpaw or Shrewpaw if they pleased...
"Aw, guess what? If we wanted to, we could go sneak in Yellowpaw's dorm. I hear she shares it with Hazelpaw and Gorsepaw. By the way, Crowpaw, what WERE you dreaming about the other night?" Graypaw asked.
"Erm... just what a Stupid, ugly, disgusting, inexplainable, fatass, dumbass, retard, fucktard, dumbtard, stupid load of lard who doesn't know what personal hygiene is and needs to learn the simple fact of life that toms DO NOT fall for her nor sha'll they ever because she is some stupid, ugly gray she - cat with the dullest yellow eyes I have ever seen. I do not know how I was ever able to approach her on my first day, thank Starclan Graypaw saved me from her horrific looks and told me to never, ever approach her skinny ass, bag of bones ever again. I now ask myself, on the second day os school, how I have gotten to realize just what she IS? I mean come on, she looks like some homosexual freak who could probably make Mousepaw look straight in the eyes of Sandpaw which is so hard to do I'm not even going to think about it. Bad thoughts may occur... Okay, so in high school she'll probably be voted all of the following: Most likely to not succeed, work at McMouser's, live in a trash can in a an alley way, eat garbage scarped off of Stormpaw or Spottedleaf's plates, or my personal favorite, to get shot from trying to get accepted into Silverpelt Idol or trying to get on Mrs. Starclan and actually win. Oh Starclan I think I can stop ranting about the hideous of this beast that is known as Yellowpaw. Why? WHY must Starclan not bless her with good looks that even Shortwhisker or Rainfur probably have. WHy not make her be the snobby, vain little Ivypaw who is like Sandpaw's body guard or something except she won't even touch Yellowpaw's fur because everybody knows that Yellowpaw probably has some horrible desease like a flesh eating virus or something that would devour you in seconds as if you were an exact copy of Spottedleaf except more beautiful and times fifty - seven and about point dot eight billion and one. I think she'll be lucky if she even gets a boyfriend for Starclan's sake! The only tom or toms who would probably be attracted to her would either be Harepaw, Kestrelpaw, Littlecloud, Runningnose, or maybe become a bisexual and end up joining the rejects like Mousepaw, Heatherpaw, Onewhisker, Twig, Rainfur, and Willowpaw, or she could always go health freak like Shortwhisker and Owlpaw. I don't understand health freaks at all. They're too... health freakish if you get my drift. Wait, back to ruining Yellowpaw's reputation in my head. Come on, I mean who were her parents? Oh yeah, that's true, she's Yellowpaw River, daughter of stupid Riverclan leader Riverstar who dies like Starclan knows how many years ago but we're not even sure if he IS her REAL father because contrary to popular belief, we have no idea if her mom or dad is a hermaphrodite... but then again, if I went go ask her, she probably would have no clue what a hermaphrodite is... just like Eric Cartman's mom off of South Park which is 'lyk teh most awezomest show eva!' As Hazelpaw would say... I still say Hazelpaw has problems... hang on, is that the lunch bell? Wow, guess I spent more time thinking about some ugly - as - Deathclan gray she - cat than what I thought... so I think now I sha'll go off to lunch recess and go mingle with the students who I hadn't been able to meet earlier on my first day because of random reasons and plus the authoress is now wondering why she has typed this entire paragraph without spacing... maybe she just wanted to make everything look long and actually see who would take the time to read she is" Crowpaw replied after thinking that the authoress just went back and copy and pasted that entire paragraph from an earlier chapter..
Graypaw and Ravenpaw stared at him wide - eyed.
"Dude, you have way too much free time..." Graypaw replied, breaking the silence. Crowpaw shrugged and then started crawling to Scourge's opening in the vent.
---
It is a little known fact that Crowpaw is squeamish about porn. Yes, he would only UN - attain that whenever he grew up to be a father and enjoyed looking at porn in his office at work, but for now, he was not liking exactly what he saw.
What he saw was Longtail chained to a bed and Echosong was...
Let's just say you don't want to know, except, the only thing you SHOULD know is that Scourge was video taping and a loud, disgusted yowl came from beside Crowpaw. And Ravenpaw was still humming,
"I'm going. Let's go to Yellowpaw's dorm." Graypaw suggested. Crowpaw nodded and followed Graypaw down the shaft. The shaft was warm, and felt like it was getting warmer as they neared Yellowpaw's dorm. The metal plate below them was gradually warming up, going from cold to hot. Somebody had turned on the heater.
"Uhh... Graypaw, I don't think I'm the only one who thinks this but we need to get out of here NOW!" Crowpaw yowled, his voice echoing down the shaft in soft whispers. Graypaw turned his broad, gray head and looked at him, amber eyes gleaming in amusement.
"Don't be stup---" But Graypaw was cut off just about as he was about to say 'stupid' because a large blast of hot air rammed into the them like a hurricane. Ravenpaw went flying backwards, barely holding onto Crowpaw's dark gray pelt.
Graypaw flattened himself against the plate and unsheathed his claws to dig into the metal. The air knocked him backwards, his claws sliding down the shaft in an ear - screaming screeching noise. Crowpaw flattened his ears to block out the sound. Ravenpaw's claws were hooked in his flanks and Crowpaw had to grit his teeth to not cry out to Starclan.
Instead, Graypaw had a better idea.
The tom spread his legs out to where he was stuck between the wall and yowled, " Every tom for themselves! Scatter!" He yowled and with a tremendous burst of speed, sprinted down tht eshaft without turning back for Crowpaw and Ravenpaw.
"Sorry Ravenpaw!" Crowpaw yowled over the noise and bit down on Ravenpaw's shoulder. The black tom yowled out a curse and was then sent flying back down the shaft, Crowpaw running down the shaft to catch up with Graypaw. He raced on and on and on and on so much that Alyson got tired of typin 'and on' so many times.
A small turn appeared up ahead, the warm air almost getting to much to bear, when he turned down it. Around the curve he spotted Graypaw clawing at a air vent release. "Come help me!" He yowled over the noise.
Crowpaw sighed in relief. Thankfully, they didn't have the air turned on in the East Wing of the dorms so they were safe for now. Poor Ravenpaw was somewhere else Starclan - knows - where in the shaft.
--- With a near dead Ravenpaw ---
"They are so --- OOMPH!" Ravenpaw grumbled until a flying mouse flew down his throat and he started to choke. Why does it always happen to ME? Why not the new kid? Why? WHY? I KNOW IT! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AS WE KNOW IT AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO WARN ANYBODY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
--- BaCk WiTh CrOwPaW aNd GrAyPaW ---
The two had removed the covering part of the vent release, so they could look into it. And down below them, Yellowpaw was sitting on her bed alone. Some notes of non - personal hygiene would be:
She scratched her unruly, gray furred armpits. Yelled at a nearby pencil. Sneezed and then ate her snot. Picked off a tick and sucked her blood out of it before eating the actual tick. And then eyed a nearby deodorant container with hatred and fierce ambition to be superior over it.
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Post by Tawnyfire on Nov 2, 2007 16:32:59 GMT -5
"See? I told you she was Stupid, ugly, disgusting, inexplainable, fatass, dumbass, retard, fucktard, dumbtard, stupid load of lard who doesn't know what personal hygiene is and needs to learn the simple fact of life that toms DO NOT fall for her nor sha'll they ever because she is some stupid, ugly gray she - cat with the dullest yellow eyes I have ever seen. I do not know how I was ever able to approach her on my first day, thank Starclan Graypaw saved me from her horrific looks and told me to never, ever approach her skinny ass, bag of bones ever again. I now ask myself, on the second day os school, how I have gotten to realize just what she IS? I mean come on, she looks like some homosexual freak who could probably make Mousepaw look straight in the eyes of Sandpaw which is so hard to do I'm not even going to think about it. Bad thoughts may occur... Okay, so in high school she'll probably be voted all of the following: Most likely to not succeed, work at McMouser's, live in a trash can in a an alley way, eat garbage scarped off of Stormpaw or Spottedleaf's plates, or my personal favorite, to get shot from trying to get accepted into Silverpelt Idol or trying to get on Mrs. Starclan and actually win. Oh Starclan I think I can stop ranting about the hideous of this beast that is known as Yellowpaw. Why? WHY must Starclan not bless her with good looks that even Shortwhisker or Rainfur probably have. WHy not make her be the snobby, vain little Ivypaw who is like Sandpaw's body guard or something except she won't even touch Yellowpaw's fur because everybody knows that Yellowpaw probably has some horrible desease like a flesh eating virus or something that would devour you in seconds as if you were an exact copy of Spottedleaf except more beautiful and times fifty - seven and about point dot eight billion and one. I think she'll be lucky if she even gets a boyfriend for Starclan's sake! The only tom or toms who would probably be attracted to her would either be Harepaw, Kestrelpaw, Littlecloud, Runningnose, or maybe become a bisexual and end up joining the rejects like Mousepaw, Heatherpaw, Onewhisker, Twig, Rainfur, and Willowpaw, or she could always go health freak like Shortwhisker and Owlpaw. I don't understand health freaks at all. They're too... health freakish if you get my drift. Wait, back to ruining Yellowpaw's reputation in my head. Come on, I mean who were her parents? Oh yeah, that's true, she's Yellowpaw River, daughter of stupid Riverclan leader Riverstar who dies like Starclan knows how many years ago but we're not even sure if he IS her REAL father because contrary to popular belief, we have no idea if her mom or dad is a hermaphrodite... but then again, if I went go ask her, she probably would have no clue what a hermaphrodite is... just like Eric Cartman's mom off of South Park which is 'lyk teh most awezomest show eva!' As Hazelpaw would say... I still say Hazelpaw has problems... hang on, is that the lunch bell? Wow, guess I spent more time thinking about some ugly - as - Deathclan gray she - cat than what I thought... so I think now I sha'll go off to lunch recess and go mingle with the students who I hadn't been able to meet earlier on my first day because of random reasons and plus the authoress is now wondering why she has typed this entire paragraph without spacing... maybe she just wanted to make everything look long and actually see who would take the time to read didn't I?
"Fine, I believe you then." Graypaw snorted and then wondered why the authoress has copied that twice in this chapter but he decided not to ask that question because he figured that by questioning the authoress she would make him do something retarded like this, because she has the power of the 'keyboard', and even better, 'backspace':
---
Graypaw looked at his mom and randomly blurted out: "I like to sing, I like to dance, I like to put ants in Crowpaw's pants!"
----
"So... wanna mess with somebody else--- oh crap." Crowpaw said as he heard the vent release creak, and snap, and then send Crowpaw plummeting into the dorm, of the ugliest she - cat, Yellowpaw.
"Crowpaw!" Graypaw yowled all dramatically but it wasn't dramatic at all.
When Crowpaw hit the bottom, he found himself on Gorsepaw's bed which smelled oddly of sweat and cotton candy. But he wasn't going to ask why Gorsepaw would excersise and eat cotton candy at the same time.
"H-he l-loves m-me... he l-loves me n-not..." Yellowpaw chanted over and over again while picking leaves off of a flower and saying stuff in random languages; aztec, british, spanish, french, african, etc. "Crowpaw! My one and only love!" She yowled when she saw him, her amber eyes brightening up tremendously and turning the size of the moon.
"U-uh h-hello-o Y-yellowp-paw" Crowpaw stuttered, his eyes darting around for the nearest escape. Yellowpaw walked closer.
"I even got a song for our wedding! Here it is!" She yowled and started to sing I Write Sins, Not Tragedies in a very off key manner...
Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor, and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words: "What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter. "And yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a sleeper."
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of...
Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
Again...
I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality. I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!" No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
Again...
"Away from him you beast!" Graypaw yowled and jumped in the door, doing a move like the matrix although I don't quite know how he did. Thus, he touched Yellowpaw, screamed, yes screamed, not yowled, screamed, grabbed Cropwaw, and raced out the door in mad pursuit to get away from Yellowpaw.
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Post by Iceshadow on Nov 3, 2007 21:00:54 GMT -5
PLEASE continue!!!!
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Post by Tawnyfire on Nov 3, 2007 21:10:07 GMT -5
Crowpaw, Ravenpaw, and Graypaw silently crept through the school hall. The three were flattened against the wall, fur standing up in the slightest bit. Crowpaw could feel tension rippling off Ravenpaw in waves. Hopefully, the black tom with his white tipped tail would start on one of 'episodes' again.
A silent signal from Graypaw's lashing tail told Crowpaw to follow. The gray - black apprentice nodded to himself and steathily followed behind. Pawstep by pawstep, they neared the bathroom. But from inside the bathroom, they heard something they were not expecting. Something they never wold have dreamed of.
It was...
Owlpaw.
And.
Shortwhisker. And from the sound of it, they were deeply engaged in some activity Crowpaw didn't want to know about. "Do you hear that?" Crowpaw asked Graypaw and Ravenpaw. The two other apprentices nodded his way and crept on along the wall. "Come on." He added and took the lead, ignoring Graypaw's death glare.
"What do you think they're doing in there?" Ravenpaw asked a bit nervously.
"Do we want to know?" Crowpaw mused. Ravenpaw knitted his brows together and glared at Crowpaw angrily. Crowpaw swore that all of his friends' death glares had been increasing leavels, Thistleclaw being the only known holder of the Death Glare Level 28. The only one.
"Just come on. If we don't go then we'll never know what they're doing." Graypaw growled. Crowpaw and Ravenpaw flashed a look at each other and shrugged. The two watched Graypaw stalk closer to the bathroom with evenly paced steps. Crowpaw quetly moved along to catch up with him.
"Oh yeah, Crowpaw and Graypaw, I'm still not forgiving you two for making me nearly eat a mouse!" Ravenpaw exclaimed in a low tone of voice. Crowpaw twitched his whiskers and flicked his ears. "I mean it guys!" He whined.
"Well, if you don't want to stay following us then go back to the dorm and go whine to yourself. Or go to Sorrelpaw, Cinderpaw, and Firepaw. Go bug them or something if you're not going to help." Crowpaw growled irritatedly. Ravenpaw looked at him and turned away.
"Well I'm going back to the dorm and go sleep if you want to be like that!" Ravenpaw hissed. Crowpaw turned his head to face Graypaw, who had a sly smirk on his face. With one, fluid motion, Graypaw raised a paw and scraped it against the wall as Ravenpaw was padding off.
Crowpaw turned back to look at Ravenpaw. As soon as Graypaw's claws met the wall, Ravenpaw freaked out and ran down the hall screaming: "THE WORLD IS GOING TO END! SO STARCLAN HELP ME THAT THE CATS OF THE DARK FOREST ARE OUT TO GET ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DONT WANNA DIE! I DONT WANNA DIE!"
"...Wanna go raid on Shortwhisker and Owlpaw's little happy time?"
"Sure." Crowpaw said smugly and the two moved after Ravenpaw had been disappeared down the hall. The two quietly opened the door, and what they saw, shocked them. What they saw: Owlpaw and Shortwhisker looking at porn magazines and making out at the same time.
"Ewwwwwwwww! That's just sick!" Crowpaw heard a voice yowl. He turned around quickly only to see a bundle of gray fur, otherwise known as Cinderpaw, come swinging from a vine and kick Owlpaw out the window, into the cool night air. Shortwhisker hurried up and ran after his boyfriend.
Crowpaw and Graypaw stood still with a sweat drop at their heads and flat looks. "..."
"What?" Cinderpaw asked, turning around. Crowpaw opened his mouth to speak but Graypaw stole his words right out of his mouth. "What?" She prompted again.
"How... did you follow us?" Graypaw asked skeptically. The sweat drop still clung to the side of his head. Graypaw looked up and saw the sweat drop and tried to shake it off but it didn't work out to great. "Argh! Get off of me!" He yowled at it. Graypaw turned around and saw Crowpaw fighting with his own sweat drop.
"Erm... can I answer your question?" Cinderpaw asked. Crowpaw and Graypaw took a moment to stop and stared at her like she was an idiot. "Helloooo? Anybody home?" She said, waving a paw in front of their face.
"Er, yeah." Crowpaw answered for Graypaw.
"Well, I saw you two, along with Ravenpaw, sneak out the dorm and wanted to see what you were going do. Firepaw said it was a stupid idea and that you were probably going to go visit Stonerfur but Sorrelpaw said that since Crowpaw was going that you were probably going mess around with something. So I decided to go follow you to see what your were going do since I knew that Ravenpaw wouldn't sneak out at night to save his own life. But alas, whenever I saw you entering the school wing, I was really curious now so I followed you here. And yes, I even followed through the vent which was hell because whenever they turned on the heater I thought I was going to die. Well then I saw Ravenpaw pinned against the back of the metal plate and knew that he would probably blow my cover. SO what I did was go catch me a mouse and a few other objects and found a detour in the vent. So then, whenever the heater turned on, I stuck the mouse in the place where it blew the strongest, evened up the position where Ravenpaw was at, and let the mouse go. So then, I followed the scent of the mouse and the route it had taken which led me to a Ravenpaw with a mouse stuck halfway down his throat. He tried to call out to you but he couldn't with the mouse stuck down his throat. I told him that his fur wasn't black anymore, it looked more of a purple or green color. Next, I stood there taunting him for about an hour until the heater turned off and then I raced off to go find you two. I think he was really starting to choke but I didn't know because I think I was going to get murdered or something if I had stayed behind. I'm telling you his eyes turned red. So before he regained his breath, I quickly raced off to find you. But the hallway guards caught me and I tested out my pwnsome ninja skillz on them. After I had nearly decapticated the guards--- I continued on before I came across some more guards and then used my adorable cuteness on them since I was tired after that. After the guards, who were Darkstripe and the other janitors let me pass, I spent about sixty - seven minutes wandering around the hall to go look for you since I could hear Ravenpaw arguing with the guards already. So what I did was find the nearest golf cart and steal it and come driving through the halls to find you two. When I heard you two whispering stuff to each other, I quickly drove faster but then I ran out of gas. Figuring that you had already gotten to far to walk to, I ran back into the Forest Exxon to go buy some more gas, which cost me fifty eight mouse tails by the way so you guys owe me bigtime. Anyway, it was then I realized that I left the golf cart in the hall so I had to walk all the way back. Along the way I was walking, I ran into some freaky beggar named Lizardstripe who asked me how Yellowpaw was doing which was really weird because she asked me to go home with her so I think she was really Michael Jackson in disguise or somethign but I don't really know because my attention span is the size of a teasthingy. But anyway, I walked along that same road for about another two hours, meeting some weird cat named Brightflower who tried to get me to go to the other local schools... I think it was Starclan's Learners and some other freaky all she - cat boarding school called "Miss Preppy Pooch's Pre - School But It's Not Really A Pre - School Because We Just Gave It That Name To Make It Sound Like A Fancy Boarding School" and thus, along the way I met some other cat named Featherwhisker who tried to get me to go to his military academy. Well, when I finally got back to the school, I acidentally left the gas can container lid open and realized that the gas leaked out the whole way coming here and well... I had to test out my pwnsome ninja skills again on the guards and it was only when I got past them that I saw Ravenpaw joining you. So of course, me being little adorable Cinderpaw caught up with you both in the bathroom after planting a vine in the bathroom ceiling and applyling eighty thousand tons of Miracle Grow to it to help it grow twenty feet long in less than twenty minutes. And now, my dear friends, we are where we are at now." Cinderpaw explained and then fainted.
"Erm Crowpaw, should we help? I mean, saying that many sentences cannot be good for your health at all..." Graypaw said with a small frown.
"I supposed..." Crowpaw mumbled.
So the two apprentices quickly drug off Cinderpaw's limp body and returned to the bathroom, armed with wrenches, saw, screwdrivers, and many more tools. "Sha'll we?" Crowpaw mused.
"Yes, let's." Graypaw replied. The to nodded to each other and both got to work on seperate sinks and bathroom stalls and the showers. Crowpaw pulled out a wrench and walked up to a sink. His cold, unwavering eyes studied the knozzle on the sink and he pulled out the Mighty Wrench Of Doom and started to fasten it.
He pulled one way, going counter - clockwise, thus, tightening it. He quickly jerked it back and forth whilst making sure it was tight and secure. He hooked the wrench back on his belt and moved over to the next sink. His eyes flashed over to Graypaw, who was trying his best to cut off the pipe that lead to the sink.
"Um Graypaw, what are you doing?" Crowpaw asked skeptically. Graypaw was bending down on one knee and looked up at him. The gray furred tom's amber eyes shown playfully.
"Well, I'm trying to cut off the pipe thats leads here so that way, whenever somebody comes to turn on the faucet, it'll go through the pipe and start squirting out all over their pants. How about you go work on the showers or something." Graypaw suggested.
"I guess." Crowpaw shrugged. Graypaw waved him off and returned to his task with cutting off a section of the pipe. Crowpaw looked at his friend once more and made his way to the showers. He took a step inside and noticed how elborate they were. The showers were made out of white and sky blue marble, studded with the occasional sapphire and emerald; although most of them had dents in the marble from students trying to pick them out.
Crowpaw stifled a small laugh.
The nozzle on the shower head was made out of a tarnished metal, repainted over with a brilliant greenish - gray color. The walls surrounding the shower were straight, with a few shelves that contained rags and soap, along with the occasional shampoo or conditioner.
"They spend too much money on this," He chuckled to himself. With one more glance around the shower, he added, " Only to have students like us come in and destroy it." He mused in a small whisper like tone.
Crowpaw silently whistled and pulled out a plug, a chisel, and a hammer. He put his paws on his hips and looked up and down the shower neck. With a small squeak of amusement, he carefully positioned the chisel on the metal shower neck, and used the hammer to form a crack within the metal.
Crowpaw moved the chiself and hammer away from the shower neck and admired his handiwork, watching the crack split all the way around the metal. With a laugh, he took out the plug and shoved it in the crack. "There we go." He huffed as he squished the plug deep into the pipe.
Crowpaw hooked the hammer and chisel back onto his belt and dug around in a pocket. With a nod of approvale, he carefully pulled out a jar. And not just any jar, a jar filled with hybridized african killer bees crossed over with hornets, wasps, and any other bug you can think of that can sting or bite, thus, creating the 'Insect X' as Crowpaw called it.
Some experiment they had to do in Petalnose's class the Friday before the concert of Fall Out Cat. "Isn't life sweet?" He chuckled to himself. Crowpaw then started to hum a happy tune of the song 'If You Were Gay'.
He carefully took out a sponge, soaked in syrup to stop it from unplugging. He hurridly took of the lid of the jar and inserted the sponge around the edge where the lid would cover, and as Crowpaw expected, the Insect X's all swarmed around the sponge.
Crowpaw smiled to himself and turned lid over. With one swift, graceful movement, he rammed the jar into the crack he had create and removed the spong from the front and pushed it took the back so the bugs couldn't fly out. Crowpaw kept the sponge in place and picked up the hammer to bend the rod back.
When the neck of the shower closed, Crowpaw stood back and smiled. From deep inside, he could hear the buzzing of the insects. Until Monday, they could survive off of the syrup and hooney stuck to the sponge. And now he had one more thing: Loosen the cap on the shower neck.
Taking out a screwdriver, he approached the cap on the shower. He stuck it under the crease, being careful to stay away from the holes as to not get stung through them, and pulled up on it barely. The cap wiggled and bugs tried to get through it. "Perfect." He smiled and walked off to the toilets where he spotted Graypaw.
"hey Crowpaw! Guess what? I rigged up one of the toilets to whenever you flush it, it flushes and then shoots everything back out! Cool huh?" Graypaw exclaimed. Crowpaw craned his neck and spotted Graypaw's contraption. Other than the fact it had multiple dents in it and one sign of 'Graypaw wuz hea' inscribed in it, it looked pretty normal to him.
"So now what?" Crowpaw asked. Graypaw took out one claw and scratched his head.
"I... guess we can go hide Tigerstar's porn in the gym." Graypaw suggested and scurried off. Crowpaw furrowed his brows and raced off after his friend. The two raced down the hallway, doing their best as to not get caught or spotted by the guards, and arrived at the Junior High gym.
"here we are!" Crowpaw proclaimed. Graypaw walked up to his friend and put a paw on his shoulder.
"Crowpaw, I really respect your wishes on how you want to grow up and what you want to do when you get older. Such as, having a kit randomly named after Breezepaw and taking a mate similar to Featherpaw, Leafpaw, and Nightcloud, but please, for the love of Starclan, don't ever do that again." Graypaw explained in a solemn tone.
"What... did I do?" Crowpaw asked. Graypaw shrugged and walked off to the office of their tabby coach, also known as Tigerstar. They both looked around the office, inspecting every drawer and shelf. Crowpaw and Graypaw both searched every nook an cranny for the porn, but couldn't find any.
Crowpaw raised up every possible item: From pencils to erasers, and even rubber balls to marijuana stalks that had already been smoked. Nearby, though, Graypaw watched with a lustful look at the marijuana. "Graypaw, it is already been smoked so chill out, dude." Crowpaw sighed.
Graypaw's gray - furred ears laid back and his tail drooped as he looked around the office some more. "Hey look what I found!" He exclaimed five minutes later, holding up a record in a red case.
"Graypaw, that's the song 'If You Were Gay'.." Crowpaw sighed again.
"Yeah, I know! I've always wanted to hear this song!" He added and put it in an old fashioned record player. He put the needle on the record and the song began with the usual tune of 'If You Were Gay' by Avenue Q began with:
ROD Aah, an afternoon alone with My favorite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940s." No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?
NICKY Oh,hi Rod!
ROD Hi Nicky.
NICKY Hey Rod, you'll never Guess what happened to Me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me
ROD That's very interesting.
NICKY He was being real friendly, And I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!
ROD Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?
NICKY Oh, you don't have to get All defensive about it, Rod...
ROD I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read.
NICKY Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.
ROD I don't want to talk about it, Nicky! This conversation is over!!!
NICKY Yeah, but...
ROD OVER!!!
NICKY Well, okay, but just so you know — IF YOU WERE GAY THAT'D BE OKAY. I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY, I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY. BECAUSE YOU SEE, IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD FEEL FREE TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY (BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
ROD Nicky, please! I am trying to read... What?!
NICKY IF YOU WERE QUEER
ROD Ah, Nicky!
NICKY I'D STILL BE HERE,
ROD Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.
NICKY YEAR AFTER YEAR
ROD Nicky!
NICKY BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR TO ME,
ROD Argh!
NICKY AND I KNOW THAT YOU
ROD What?
NICKY WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,
ROD I would?
NICKY IF I TOLD YOU TODAY, "HEY! GUESS WHAT, I'M GAY!" (BUT I'M NOT GAY.) I'M HAPPY JUST BEING WITH YOU.
ROD High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...
NICKY SO WHAT SHOULD IT MATTER TO ME WHAT YOU DO IN BED WITH GUYS?
ROD Nicky, that's GROSS!
NICKY No it's not! IF YOU WERE GAY I'D SHOUT HOORAY!
ROD I am not listening!
NICKY AND HERE I'D STAY,
ROD La la la la la!
NICKY BUT I WOULDN'T GET IN YOUR WAY.
ROD Aaaah!
NICKY YOU CAN COUNT ON ME TO ALWAYS BE BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY, YOU WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY, AND, AS THEY SAY, IT'S IN YOUR DNA, YOU'RE GAY!
ROD BUT I'M NOT GAY!
NICKY If you were gay.
ROD Argh!
As soon as the song ended, Crowpaw stood with his sweatdrop back again, not even botherign this time to bat it away. "Graypaw... there are just some thigns in life such as songs and videos you are never supposed to watch. I think that might come pretty close to the top of the list. So I am now going to walk away and--- OW!" Crowpaw yowled and realized that what he tripped over was Tigerstar's porn.
"Hey you find it Crowpaw!" Graypaw exclaimed and raced forward. The apprnetice picked up the black tape, turning it over and over and looking beneath it and stuff. All he could see was a lable that read: 'XXX NOT FOR APPRENTICES: TIGERSTAR'S PORN XXX' In big, bold letters.
"Hmph, where you want to put it then?" Crowpaw asked.
"Let's go sneak it under Bluestar's desk. I think Clawface or Darkstripe have a golf cart somewheres in one of their closets that we could use." Graypaw suggested. Crowpaw nodded and the two ran off to go find the nearest janitor closet.
It didn't take Graypaw and Crowpaw long to find the janitors closet, mainly because it was marked with large signs saying stuff like 'JANITORS CLOSET' in large, neon yellow and green lights.
"Ya think they got their message across?" Graypaw asked.
"Nah, they need more color." Crowpaw snickered.
The two opened the forest green door and found the golf cart, sitting in a ray of shining, yellow light. Crowpaw found the keys and handed them to Graypaw. The two of them got in the golf cart, Graypaw driving, and put on shades to try and act like the really fancy people on TV shows even though you know people in real life wouldn't do.
"Let's ride." A random voice out of nowehre said.
Graypaw hit the gas peddle on the golf cart and took off flying down the hallway. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Graypaw cheered the whole way so much, that he didn't even realize Crowpaw hanging onto his own seat for dear life.
---
"Too... tired. Can't... speak..." Graypaw heaved, flopping down backwards onto his bed.
"Well, if I remember right, you were the idiot who went and hid the porn underneath Bluestar, Redtail, and Lionheart's desk and 'accidentally' hit the alarm button! Starclan you're retarded." Crowpaw growled.
From behind the two chatting apprentices, Ravenpaw walked through the door, dripping wet, and soaked to the bone. And he was freezing... badly. "Gee, thanks for staying with me guys." He growled.
"What happened to you?" Crowpaw asked. Ravenpaw flicked his white - tipped tail in annoyance and sat down on his respective bed.
"Let's say this happened: I was left behind. And then after Cinderpaw regained her consciousness after reciting to you two her basically, life story, I found her and she brought me back to the Forest Exxon to o get some gas for her golf cart that randomly appeared out of nowhere. That's what happened." Ravenpaw growled.
But when he looked, Crowpaw and Graypaw had already fallen asleep.
"WHY MUST THEY ALWAYS ABANDON ME? I'M GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HELP ME LORD! Wait a minute... what's a lord? Dont' make ME SING THE 'IF YOU WERE GAY SONG!" He yowled and saw that it didn't wake either of them up. "IM SERIOUS!" He added, but Crowpaw only mumbled a bit in his sleep, and Graypaw prattled on about weed and crack.
"THAT"S IT!" He yowled and inhaled deeply before singing:
ROD Aah, an afternoon alone with My favorite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940s." No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?
NICKY Oh,hi Rod!
ROD Hi Nicky.
NICKY Hey Rod, you'll never Guess what happened to Me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me
ROD That's very interesting.
NICKY He was being real friendly, And I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!
ROD Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?
NICKY Oh, you don't have to get All defensive about it, Rod...
ROD I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read.
NICKY Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.
ROD I don't want to talk about it, Nicky! This conversation is over!!!
NICKY Yeah, but...
ROD OVER!!!
NICKY Well, okay, but just so you know — IF YOU WERE GAY THAT'D BE OKAY. I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY, I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY. BECAUSE YOU SEE, IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD FEEL FREE TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY (BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
ROD Nicky, please! I am trying to read... What?!
NICKY IF YOU WERE QUEER
ROD Ah, Nicky!
NICKY I'D STILL BE HERE,
ROD Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.
NICKY YEAR AFTER YEAR
ROD Nicky!
NICKY BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR TO ME,
ROD Argh!
NICKY AND I KNOW THAT YOU
ROD What?
NICKY WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,
ROD I would?
NICKY IF I TOLD YOU TODAY, "HEY! GUESS WHAT, I'M GAY!" (BUT I'M NOT GAY.) I'M HAPPY JUST BEING WITH YOU.
ROD High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...
NICKY SO WHAT SHOULD IT MATTER TO ME WHAT YOU DO IN BED WITH GUYS?
ROD Nicky, that's GROSS!
NICKY No it's not! IF YOU WERE GAY I'D SHOUT HOORAY!
ROD I am not listening!
NICKY AND HERE I'D STAY,
ROD La la la la la!
NICKY BUT I WOULDN'T GET IN YOUR WAY.
ROD Aaaah!
NICKY YOU CAN COUNT ON ME TO ALWAYS BE BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY, YOU WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY, AND, AS THEY SAY, IT'S IN YOUR DNA, YOU'RE GAY!
ROD BUT I'M NOT GAY!
NICKY If you were gay.
ROD Argh!
"NOT THAT SONG!" Crowpaw yowled and shot up straight. "IT REMINDS ME OF SKYWATCHER!" The fear was evident in his eyes from the look on his face, Ravenpaw swore his eyes had turned redish - yellow from the usual blueish - amber.
"Weeeeeeeeeeell, if you would let me expl--- STARCLAN DAMNIT CROWPAW!" He snarled when Crowpaw fell back asleep. "WHY DO THEY ALWAYS LEAVE ME?! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I NEVER EVEN GOT TO SAY GOODBYE TO DADDY BARLEY AND MOMMY GOLDENFLOWER EVEN THOUGH I KNOW SHE'S NOT MY MOTHER BECAUSE VICKY HOLMES EVEN SAID SHE ISN'T BUT I'M GOING TO BELIEVE SHE IS ANYWAY BECAUSE I CAN DO STUFF LIKE THAT!"
And then he, too, also crashed out on a bed with a loud thunk.
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Post by Tawnyfire on Nov 3, 2007 21:11:57 GMT -5
"Praise Starclan."
"Amen." Crowpaw replied. He, Sorrelpaw, Graypaw, and Cinderpaw were seated at the local church. Firepaw didn't come because he didn't believe in Starclan, and Ravenpaw didn't come because he said that since the church was made of marble, that if it crashed, he would be crushed by the marble pillars.
The priest, preacher, pastor, etc. was Mudfur, who was holding a Starclan bible in one paw and a his page turner in the other. "And then, Thunderstar told Lightningtail, YOU, LIGHTININGTAIL! Will be my deputy!" He yowled, causing everybody in the church to jump.
"Anger management..." Graypaw coughed under his paw. Sorrelpaw jabbed him in the ribs to shut him up. Graypaw rubbed his side while shooting a glare at Sorrelpaw. Crowpaw rolled his eyes and turned back to watch Mudfur rant on and on until it took fifteen people working for the Secret Service to carry him off the podium, while he still yowled out passages from the bible all the way.
"Well, it's about time that's over!" Cinderpaw exclaimed with her fur ruffled up.
"Ya know, when I told my mom that Mudfur was crazy, she never listened to me..." Graypaw muttered.
"That's those Riverclanners for you." Crowpaw mused, watching Graypaw glare at him. "Oh, I'm sorry if Minnowpaw and Silverpaw are from Riverclan, you're not going to die." He smirked. Graypaw started to mutter a few things and shoved his paws in his fur.
"Hey guys, how about we go to the mall for a little Sunday shopping?" Sorrelpaw suggested. Cinderpaw, Crowpaw, and Graypaw all gave her a blank stare. "Without Ravenpaw or Firepaw?"
"SURE!" Cinderpaw exclaimed. She started to dash out the church but was caught by Crowpaw's outstretched paw. "Oh yeah. Who's driving the golf cart?"
Sorrelpaw looked expectantly at Graypaw, and then pointed. "Certainly not him." She joked. Fishing the keys out of her fur, she presented a black and silver key. "Now presenting, golf cart key!" She exclaimed proudly and raised it above her head. "Now let's go!" She added.
The four friends all found the golf cart, conveniently parked outside their dorm, and hopped in. Cinderpaw was in the passenger seat, Sorrelpaw was driving, and Graypaw and Crowpaw were sitting in the seat in the back.
It took the bribery of weed to get Graypaw to stop trying to give the golf cart hydrolics, and to stop him from dragging his claws against the ground, claiming he was 'giving the golf cart neon lights'.
"So where to?" Crowpaw asked.
"Please do not talk while the golf cart is in motion." Cinderpaw growled over a randomly appearing walkie talkie, that came out of nowhere.
"Sheesh..." Crowpaw muttered and sat down.
---
The four friends all parked the golf cart in a parking lot outside the store. "Okay, so where you guys wanna go first?" Sorrelpaw asked. Crowpaw and Graypaw both looked at each other, shrugged, and turned back. "Fine, let's go down to---"
"Split up!" Graypaw announced. Crowpaw knew that one second, he saw Sorrelpaw, and then the next, he was being dragged down the mall by Cinderpaw. No telling where Graypaw ran off to, and Sorrelpaw, stood in her spot looking like retard.
Crowpaw's crystal blue eyes were wide when he felt himself slam into a wall, head first, Cinderpaw then came barreling into him next. "Ow!" He shrieked and pushed the fluffy gray apprentice off him. "Gee, thanks Cinderpaw." He growled and stood up. Crowpaw stood on unsteady legs and started to brush off imaginary dust.
"Aww come on Crowy! We might as well do some shopping!" She cheered.
Crowpaw stared at her blankly.
"What?" She asked.
"Cinderpaw, may I remind you that I'm broke. Eaglekit has all the money right now." Crowpaw informed her. Realization dawned on Cinderpaw's face, only to be relit by something else --- snickering. "What's so funny?" Cinderpaw sighed and dug around in her fur pocket and retrieved, a credit card.
"Now presenting, Sandpaw's credit card!" She announced. "So, now we aren't broke. Come on!" She added and grabbed Crowpaw by his paw and pulled him to the nearest clothing store. Crowpaw failed to notice the fact that the store was entitled 'Catacrombie and Catapostle'.
The store was massive on the inside--- clothing lining along all walls and racks placed in the middle. "Okay, I'll be over here if you need me! Oh, and get something good too. If we have money right now, we'll only be buying top brands!" Cinderpaw meowed cheekily and ran off to a rack filled with tank tops.
Crowpaw sighed and browsed through the racks. Hoodies, jeans, shoes, shirts, jackets, and more were scattered about, until one thing in particular caught his eye. Crowpaw's blue eyes locked onto a pair of jet black jeans with three chains hanging off the side. A belt circled around it, studded with diamonds, and the buckle was imprinted with the logo of Catapostle.
He scampered off for the jeans and his eyes flickered down tot he price tag: $ 5,000. Did he have enough? Well you had better bet your ugly f-king boots he did! He had Sandpaw's credit card with him! Crowpaw greedily snatched the black jeans off the rack and slung them over his shoulder, now he needed a jacket and a shirt to go along with it.
Crowpaw smirked to himself and calmly started to hum as he made his way over to a rack of dark blue, navy shirts with numerous logos and words written on them. One shirt caught his eyes. It was a dark blue, a hue of forest green mixed in, and was medium length. The collar dipped down to a V point by each shoulder and rose up the tiniest bit at the edge line, from back to front. And smack dab in the middle of it was a silver flame with a redish - orange outline. Crowpaw was in love with shopping.
"I see you already found something?" Cinderpaw's expectant voice sounded from behind him. The fluffy gray she - cat walked up behind him, in her paws, she carried a regular maroon hoodie and some short cut dark green short jeans. Crowpaw nodded meekly and did a babyish 'mmhmm', sounding like a toddler.
"Well, let's go check out then! Next stop, electronics!" Cinderpaw proclaimed and drug Crowpaw over to the register. Needless to say, he nearly stumbled over his own feet. Crowpaw learned that day, never underestimate the power of a hyperactive ninja wannabe.
Cinderpaw nearly threw Crowpaw, himself, on the counter when she threw her items on it. "I'm sorry madame, but, we don't sell toms." The cashier said politely, eyeing Crowpaw.
Crowpaw growled at Cinderpaw and tried ----TRIED--- to get off the table, but instead, fell off and landed on his side with an audible thunk. "Ow..." He mumbled and stood. Crowpaw rubbed his side and waited for the woman to finish scanning their items.
"That'll be..." The woman, who was actually a cat, took a moment to calculate everything. "...will be about... $ 20,000 mouse tails." She replied. Crowpaw smacked his forehead when he saw Cinderpaw hand her the credit card. "Thanks, come again soon." She added poliely and handed them their bags.
"Can we go to the electronics now?" Crowpaw asked Cinderpaw. The she - cat nodded and they then, were whisked away to the wonders of Vole-adio Shack. So as luck would have it that our two friends entered Vole-adio Shack which was none other a car dealership, trcator rentals, weaponry store, and, electronics, Crowpaw stood amazed.
Mainly because of the items that lined the wall. To his left was a weaponry store and to the right, electronics. IPods, Mp3 players, DVD players, computers, laptops, DS lights, X-Boxes, and even mor ethan the authoress cares to list right now. Yes, he was definately in heaven.
Crowpaw's blue eyes were large, blue, and the size of the moon. They were glazed over in none other than something that could signify love for the particular store, and hatred for Cinderpaw not telling him sooner. Crowpaw clenched the bag with his latest clothes tighter and walked deeper into the store, straight for the IPods.
His eyes found one particular IPod, it was black with silver and gray streaks running diagonally and white flecks mixed in. Crowpaw reached out a paw and picked up the information packet and read it: It could hold up to ten thousand songs, and even more recordings. He was still in heaven.
So of course, going all fanaticy about the IPod, Crowpaw did what any other tom or she - cat would do, picked it up to buy it and moved down the rest of the store. It was whenever he found himself in front of XBoxes (Which he bought too) That he bothered to even turn around and look for Cinderpaw.
The fluffy gray, wannabe ninja was over by the weapons, and all Crowpaw could mutter was:, "Oh crap," before he raced over to the other side of the store and rescued her from buying something that she would definately use to get revenge against Ivypaw and Whitepaw for making fun of her fur color. Obviously, Sandpaw's group didn't like she - cats with gray fur.
Crowpaw didn't exactly know how fast he ran, nor did he really care. All he knew was that one moment he was just walking away from the cashier and then the next moment he found himself sprinting over to Cinderpaw to stop her from buying a deadly weapon to kill the preps.
And of course, it was too late. Cinderpaw walked away from the counter showing Crowpaw her brand set of kunai and daggers. "They're so awesome huh!" She yowled in an excited tone. Crowpaw could feel his sweatdrop coming back already. Note to self: Buy sweatdrop repellent for me and Graypaw... He thought.
"Er... yeah, awesome... right..." Crowpaw sighed. This day was going to drag on and on...
"Next stop! Golf Cart land!" Cinderpaw chirped. Crowpaw did not like the sound of that. What was it with that cat and golf carts anyway? What was so significate about a golf cart that could make the hyperactive ninja wannabe be so engrossed about them? But as usual, he couldn't spend too much time in daydream land because Cinderpaw had grabbed his paw, and once again, literally used him to sled down the mall path.
"BRUSH BURNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Crowpaw yowled when he smacked into a door, the door to, GOLF CART LAND! Where all your Golf Cart fantasies can come true! Only In Golf Cart Land! Cinderpaw let go of his smoky grayish - black ears and leaped off of him.
"Oh quit ya whining, it's a marble floor anyway." She snorted. Realization spread across Crowpaw's face when he looked down: It was only a polished, marble, forest green, stone walkway. Boy, did he feel really stupid that moment. "But, we need to go get a new golf cart because the one I keepo stea---, I mean borrowing from the janitors is a piece of crap." She explained. "So come on!"
Crowpaw and Cinderpaw then, walked in Golf Cart Land.
---
"I think they went this way!" Sorrelpaw shouted at Graypaw. Not only had she found him after an hour of searching, but she found him in a drug store. Not knowing exactly why they would have a drug store in a mall, she got him before he could buy any steroids or excessive amounts of estrogen. Not good.
"I'm coming..." The tortoiseshell heard the smoky gray tom growl under his breath. Graypaw hurried up a bit to catch up to Sorrelpaw, and to walk at her side. "So... where did they go?" He asked again, casting a forlorn look at his shopping bag that contained a lazer light that he had been getting wicked ideas about for last half hour.
"I think I saw Cinderpaw drag Crowpaw off into Golf Cart Land." Sorrelpaw explained, pointing out with a sheathed paw in the direction of the golf cart wonderland... for Cinderpaw at least.
Sorrelpaw hurridly grabbed Graypaw's paws and raced dead into Golf Cart Land, which sounded oddly close to Cartman Land from South Park that the authoress is currently obsessed with.
---
Crowpaw sighed. This was not going well. For starters, he was standing next to a constantly chattering Cinderpaw who was constantly chattering with the golf cart sales-tom. And now, Graypaw and Sorrelpaw had finally found them. "There you are!" Sorrelpaw growled in a motherly tone of voice.
"What have you two been doing?" Graypaw asked. Crowpaw merely shrugged and pointed at Cinderpaw, who checking out a golf cart that had REAL neon lights at the bottom and top, hydrolics, a 50 watt sound system, headlights, a fridgerator, built in AC and a heater, and much, much more. And she bought it. Using Sandpaw's credit card.
"Did... you just buy us a golf cart?" Crowpaw asked in disbelief. And for emphasis, Cinderpaw dangled the keys in front of his eyes and presented him with the papers.
"Yep! And this is our own! We sha'll call it, the Slacker!" She said in a high pitched mew. "Can you believe it!? We finally got our own golf cart! And it only cost Sandp---, I mean me, only $ 25,000 mouse tails and dollars! They use ACTUAL dollars here!" She squeaked.
"Whipee... I'm so happy..." Crowpaw cheered sarcastically. He even waved a little white flag to prove his point. Then, Crowpaw heard a loud click sound.
"Aw man. My bracelet broke!" Graypaw growled and held up the two, pathetic pieces of the braclet. Crowpaw, Sorrelpaw, and Cinderpaw all snickered. The braclet was unmistakable of where he got it from...
"Aw, your poor cheap, Asian bracelet broke. Let's go home to tell Patchpelt and Willowpelt and everything will be okay." Crowpaw sneered at his friend.
"Why you racist son of a bit--- hey look! A penny!" Graypaw interupted himself and bent down to pick up the bronze, copper penny that lay by his hindpaws. And they say Cinderpaw has a small attention span... Crowpaw snickered in his thoughts. And wait, since when am I racist? I'm part asian! Oh wait, that's Egyptian. Aw screw it. He mused to himself.
"Hey guys, let's go eat at the cafe somewhere. I'm hungry." Graypaw said when he retrieved his penny off the ground and stuffed it in his own newly bought hoodie. Sorrelpaw rolled her eyes, Cinderpaw snorted, and Crowpaw didn't really care.
"You're always hungry." He only said.
"So? Let's go eat. I could really do for a Mouse Musse right now..." He started to dream of chocolate coated mice, dipped in whipped cream and served with cherries and light, whipped chocolate. Crowpaw watched. "Aw please? Crowpaw, you have never lived until you try one." He added and poked him in the ribs.
"Fine." Crowpaw digressed. "We'll go eat. To the Slacker!" He proclaimed.
"Uh Crowpaw, it's like, two feet in front of you," Cinderpaw pointed out.
"Oh... I knew that.."
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Post by Tawnyfire on Nov 3, 2007 21:12:32 GMT -5
---
The four friends drove the golf cart throughout the halls of the mall, and since it was allowed since they had just bought it, Cinderpaw, self - proclaimed diver, decided to run over a randomly passing Speckeltail. "Ahhhhhhhhhh! My hip!" The elder yowled and broke out in tears.
"Faster! Faster!" Graypaw urged her, pointing out with his paw to the nearest Catbucks Cafe. Cinderpaw, who was still driving, quickly turned the wheel, made the golf cart turn on two wheels, and crush a nearby passing kit.
"WHAT WAS THAT!?" She shrieked, looking behind ehr widly.
"It was nothing. Just keep going!" Graypaw replied. So after our two heroes and two heroines finally got the golf cart under control and designated Sorrelpaw the driver for now on, they finally arrived at Catbucks Cafe which makes the authoress believe Starbucks sounds wayyyyyyyy better.
"LAND!" Crowpaw yowled and thrust himself against the ground. He started petting the ground and saying random things like: "I never thought that land would be so beautiful. It's okay, I'll never let Cinderpaw drive over you ever again." He cooed and purred to it, and yet, it only took him a half hour to realize that he was talking to the ground.
"Just get up," Sorrelpaw growled.
"But I can't stand up. Ashfoot and Tornear never taught me how."
"JUST STAND THE FUCK UP!"
"YES MAM SARGEANT MAN! I ME MAM!" Crowpaw screamed, yes screamed, and then leaped to his paws. Crowpaw raised a paw to his forehead and saluted her before walking into the Catbucks Cafe with Cinderpaw and Graypaw in tow.
The four friends all approached the counter, where Smallear and Brightflower were working the cash register. The gray fluffy, sometimes but really most of the times hyper active, ninja wannabe Cinderpaw was the first to order. Now, before the authoress goes onto a really boring discussion about the stuff they ordered, let her let you know that Catbucks is different from Starbucks.
Very.
Instead of serving little glazed donuts and warm, fresh cups of coffee like Starbucks does, Catbucks is different. All they serve is, basically, everything Starbucks sells and more. Stuff like, mice, voles, chaffinches, hamburgers, fries, cows, blue whales, elephants, ballet dancers--- sorry, I am getting ahead of myself.
"Does this have anything to with the plot?" A very confused Cinderpaw asked as she looked at the ceiling of Catbucks and realized that there was random voice coming out of nowhere. The authoress promptly apologizes to Cinderpaw and says a sharp 'no'. Then, she decided to get back on with the fiction that the reviewers came to for.
I apologize once again.
So thus, Cinderpaw approached the counter again. "I would like to order a Mouseka-teer milk shake with... a hamburger and a ballet dancer on the side." She meowed cheekily, flashing a wide, toothy grin. The cashier, Smallear, looked very confused.
"Ballet dancer? We haven't sold dead twolegs wearing flashy clothes since One - Eye was an apprentice." He replied gently. "Perhaps, you would like a number 8?" He suggested.
"Fine." Cinderpaw said crossly and let Crowpaw, Sorrelpaw, and Graypaw order.
Once everybody had ordered something, they all found their table in the cafe and awaited for the arrival of their food. Crowpaw sat borridly at the table whilst tapping his hindpaw against the floor to the beat of his IPod's song, Fight For All The Wrong Reasons by Nickelback. And now, the authoress sha'll once again break in this chapter and say that she is was listening to that song a few minutes ago.
"Crowpaw! Turn that down! I can hear the lyrics loud and fine from over here!" A very irritated Talonpaw growled from across the Catbucks Cafe. And of course, Crowpaw simply turned it up louder. "Starclan! I'm leaving!" Talonpaw added and left with Swiftpaw and Shrewpaw behind him.
"Way to go buddy!" Graypaw high fived Crowpaw.
"Foods here! That was quick." Cinderpaw said hyperly as the waitress, a part time working fifth grader named Silverpaw. And yes, it's the one from riverclan who oddly showed up in the 'Into the Wild' Riverclan allegiances and then just disappeared afterwards. Well then, this is where she went.
Crowpaw eyed his freshly creamed mousse (It's pronounced 'moose' like the animals, not 'mouse' like the rodent) like a coyote would eye the authoresses cat, Madame, who had been eaten by a coyote. Curses. It only took three days worth of crying as a nine year old to get over it. But that was years ago.
"And then, she like, like, bought it! Can you like, like believe that like, stuff!" A very excited preppy voice squealed. Crowpaw took a bite of his mousse and turned around to see Sandpaw, Ivypaw, Whitepaw, Squirrelpaw, and Tawnypaw all walking down the mall with multiple shopping bags in their paws.
"No way!" Ivypaw added. The five preps all passed by the cafe and stopped when they saw Cinderpaw. And Ivypaw, being the little bitch she is, twirled around and said: "Hey Sandpaw, isn't WHITE fur such a beautiful color? Especially when it's LONG and you have SAPPHIRE blue eyes to match it?" She taunted.
Sandpaw seemed to catch the hint and nodded. "I know, and it's so neat that we can buy all THIS stuff!" Crowpaw heard Cinderpaw mutter 'not for long' under her breath. "Come on girls, let's go buy our stuff. We're going to be so IN at school it'll be shocking!" She squealed and strutted off.
"Hey, you think they realized yet that I stole her credit card?" Cinderpaw asked, flashing the golden visa card in the air.
Crowpaw shook his head. "I don't think so, why else would should be so enthusiatic about it?" He inquired and took another bite of his chocolate mousse. Crowpaw twirled the whipped chocolate around with his sthingy and flicked some at Whitepaw, who was laggin behind the group. It hit the target, the whitest part of fur.
"Hey let me try!" Graypaw exclaimed and promptly picked up the cafe table and threw it at her.
"What... the HELL did you just do?" Sorrelpaw asked in disbelief. Graypaw merely pointed at the flying cedar wood table.
--- Sandpaw's POV ---
Sandpaw saw Whitepaw going flying past her.
--- Crowpaw's POV again ---
"HIT THE HILLS!" He yowled when he saw Whitepaw's boyfriend, Foxpaw, coming after him. Instead, they all ran to the Slacker instead. Sorrelpaw was driving.
"To the dorms!"
---
The way they arrived at the dorm door wasn't exactly what a person would call 'normal'. It wasn't said 'normal' because first of all, Cinderpaw had evicted Sorrelpaw of driving. Then, the rest could be expected. For starters, Crowpaw, Ravenpaw, and Graypaw now needed a new door.
And a crowbar to get Graypaw's head stuck out of the door.
---
"Hey Graypaw! We don't have any tuna left!" Crowpaw called out to him from the dorm kitchen. Each dorm had their own laundry room and kitchen, and of course, bathroom to go along with it. Crowpaw's blackish - gray furred head was stuffed in a cabinet looking for any sign of tuna cans.
"Did you look underneath Ravenpaw's bed?" He asked. Crowpaw shut the cabinet and poked his head up to see his friend. Graypaw was on the computer.
"Why would he have any under his bed?" Crowpaw inquired with a scratch to his head. Graypaw gave him a blank look.
"Crowpaw, you do realize we're talking about RAVENPAW right?"
"Oh." He replied. Crowpaw walked over to Ravenpaw's bed and flipped up the matress and instead, didn't find tuna, but instead, salmon. "Yuck! I don't like salmon!" He yowled to the ceiling. "Starclan, how can Ravenpaw eat that over - priced crap?" Graypaw didn't even look but instead, continued typing away on his computer.
Crowpaw marched around the dorm in search of tuna, but by the end of his hunt, all he had found was: Graypaw's stash of crack, weed, marijuana, more salmon, Tigerstar's dirty gym socks, an old diary with a pink laced cover, a flashlight, a teddy bear named Mr. Snugglykins, a five thousand word essay, obviously written by Ravenpaw, which repeated 'the world is going to end', and a pack of Juicy Fruit.
"Hey look! Juicy Fruit!" Crowpaw cheered and grabbed the gum. The apprentice unsheathed one long claw and tore open the gum and being satisfied, plopped one in his mouth and started to chew away at it and it's fruity wonders. The authoress apologizes yet again for making that sound gay and cheesy.
"Now what else..." Crowpaw wondered and scanned the objects beneath the bed. Casting a glance at the pink laced diary, he grabbed it and opened it. "I wonder who this belonged to?" He wondered and flipped through the pages. On the first page, in glittery letters, there was the name 'Fluffy' in large, bright, neon yellow letters.
Crowpaw turned to the first page and read:
" DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant." Crowpaw read to himself. It had probably belonged to a kittypet before him. Then how did it end up in their dorm? Crowpaw flipped through the next few pages and found even more:
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...
"Hey Graypaw, who did this diary belong to?" Crowpaw asked. Graypaw didn't even turn around. Crowpaw simply shrugged and threw it back underneath the bed. Instead, this time, he grabbed the flashlight and flung it on Ravenpaw's dark gray quilted bed. "Where's Raven--- what are you typing on?"
"This?" Graypaw asked and pointed at the screen.
"Duh, what else would I be talking about? The excessive amounts of crack and weed under your bed?" Crowpaw said sarcastically. Graypaw motioned for Crowpaw to come forward and pointed at the screen, where in large, white letters and a blue background, said 'Myspace, a place for friends'.
"Myspace?" Crowpaw asked curiously.
"Yeah, I have 2,384 friends too! You need a babe? I could hook you up with a twoleg! Let's see... I have Paris Hilton... Brittany Spears, oh! Gwen Stefani would be perfect for you!" Graypaw started to list. "You should create one too. And then, I could add you to my top friends with some of my cousins like Heartpaw, Dandruffpaw, and n00bpaw."
"Eh, I guess." Crowpaw shrugged. Graypaw moved out of the chair and let Crowpaw take his place, and thus, he was introduced to the magical wonders of Myspace .com'.
It had been about two more hours until Ravenpaw came to the dorm and had went on his usual rant that he had been out trapped somewhere by Russians and Canadians when in reality, it was only Bluestar's office since he got trapped in the school after trying to get his pink eraser back.
And thus, he was now sitting on the bed.
"Hey Crowpaw, how do you turn this flashlight on?" He asked whilst examining the flashlight.
"You turn... the on button on." Crowpaw replied as he tried to find a new layout for his profile.
"On...off...on...off...on...off..." Ravenpaw kept repeating as he repeatedly turned the flashlight on and off. It was an amazing work of art to him.
---
"Hey Graypaw, do you have any pictures I can put? I need a camera to take some." Crowpaw asked while staring at the blank list of photos for his myspace. A few seconds later, Graypaw appeared behind him.
"Crowpaw, if you wanna get that date with Gwen or Paris, you don't put pictures of a cat, you put pictures of other people. Now who do you want to be? Justin Timberlake? Vin Diesel? Or maybe, Orlando Bloom?" Graypaw asked.
"Graypaw, you spend too much time on this thing..." Crowpaw muttered and started to put pictures of himself as Orlando Bloom.
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Post by Icepath on Nov 15, 2007 1:25:38 GMT -5
MOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE!!!!!!!!!!!! @_@
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heatherstripe
Junior Member
Take my blood...... it's cold anyways.
Posts: 50
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Post by heatherstripe on Nov 24, 2007 2:53:10 GMT -5
i think you should put sorrelpaw and crowpaw together since they seem so fon of eachother, but that was only a suggestion! =)
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Airilae-Chan
Full Member
Time for a return! And a new name <3
Posts: 189
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Post by Airilae-Chan on Dec 4, 2007 11:39:28 GMT -5
I Love it! Its brilliant but how did you type the song 'Everybody's Nerves' without your hands breaking? I loved the part where Greypaw throws the table, I fell off the chair laughing!
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wildfire
Junior Member
...yeah...
Posts: 71
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Post by wildfire on Dec 15, 2007 22:14:57 GMT -5
hey, if you heard about my accidental plagurism *cough cough* I just wanted to say I'm super sorry and think this story is great and didn't know about it when I was writing my story. In other words, sorry
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