Chapter 9
*THE FOLLOWING HAS BEEN HAPPENING EVERYDAY SO FAR*
Cinderpaw: (dressed in rags and speaking in an English accent) Oh, Graystripe, Fireheart has abandoned me again. Could you please spare me another training session?
Graystripe: I told you already that I have to train Haikupaw.
Cinderpaw: . . . Yellowfang had a prophecy that I was going to die before Haikupaw!
Graystripe: Oh, you poor thing! I’ll mentor you for only ONE more day.
(Gets on motorcycle with Cinderpaw and drives off)
Haikupaw: (Running after motorcycle) Please wait-ith for thee!
My sister’s lying to you.
Don’t abandon me.
*THEN LATER IN THE DAY*
Evil: Banana bonanza! (Hops away)
*NO, WAIT, NOT THAT LATER*
Fireheart: Hi Graystripe. Just so you know, I wasn’t with my sister, Cathy, today. I was just shopping at the Mart-Mart.
Graystripe: Okay.
*TODAY*
Fireheart: Another day of sunshine!
Graystripe: Yeah . . . IT SUCKS!
Floating gallon of milk: (floats around the clearing)
Cinderpaw: (Pins down milk)
Fireheart: Wow! Cinderpaw, you caught the floating milk!
Cinderpaw: (Sniffs milk) It’s not regular milk, Fireheart. It’s . . . chocolate milk!
Fireheart: Chocolate!
Graystripe: Chocolate!
Mousefur: Chocolate!
Yellowfang: Chocolate!
Bluestar: Chocolate?
Evil: Chocolate!
Sandpaw: Chocolate!
Raincloud: Chocolate!
ThunderClan: Chocolate!
Haikupaw: Good morning, Graystripe.
What is today’s assignment?
I hope we may hunt.
Graystripe: Nope. Today, we’re . . . (searches clipboard for lesson plans) . . . going . . . hunting.
Cinderpaw: Yay!
Haikupaw: . . .
Graystripe: Why didn’t you respond?
Haikupaw: Haven’t I told you?
I don’t speak when I don’t have,
A haiku to say.
Fireheart: That makes sense.
*NEAR THE RIVER*
Cinderpaw: The River is frozen.
Graystripe: Man, Cinderpaw, you’re worse than Longtail.
Fireheart: We were supposed to catch a vole before you said that.
Graystripe: (Jumps onto the ice, breaks it, and starts drowning)
Fireheart: Now you’re worse than Cinderpaw!
Cinderpaw: Isn’t this the part when princess Silverstream saves Graystripe?
Fireheart: Yeah, but she isn’t coming.
*ONE MINUTE LATER*
Haikupaw: We are waiting here,
Desperately waiting for her.
Silverstream, please come.
*ANOTHER MINUTE LATER*
Fireheart: Where is Silverstream?
*VIDEO CLIP OF SILVERSTREAM NOW: SHE’S PLAYING TEA PARTY WITH HER DOLLS*
Silverstream: I can see the hidden camera, Raincloud.
Raincloud: . . . hehe . . . I don’t know what she’s talking about!
Silverstream: Why can’t I just let him drown?
Raincloud: Well, without Graystripe, then there wouldn’t really be a story-
Silverstream: But I die!
Raincloud: So?
Silverstream: Whatever. (Rescues Graystripe)
Graystripe: Wow. I thought I was fresh-kill-
Silverstream: Shut up and let me walk away. (Swims back to RiverClan)
*BACK AT CAMP*
Evil: (Posing in front of mirror) Yeah, I look GOOD!
Fireheart/Graystripe/Haikupaw/Cinderpaw: (Stare in horror)
Evil: This is MY private time! And wasn’t I supposed to come to you?
Fireheart: Everything changes.
Evil: Fine. Graystripe, why were you in RiverClan territory?
Graystripe: I wasn’t in RiverClan territory.
Evil: Liar, liar! Pants on fire!
Graystripe: I’m not lying!
Evil: Well, you’re pants ARE on fire.
Graystripe: (Looks down at his own burning pants) Oh. Right.