Post by Raincloud on Sept 14, 2007 21:49:18 GMT -5
Fireheart: Maybe I should see my sister . . . Evil: I’m going to the Mart-Mart . . . so Fireheart knows that I’m not suspecting where he is . . . so he can go see his sister . . . and I’m evil . . . and I want to drive him out of the CLAN . . . and I’m the deputy- Fireheart: I’m off the hook! (Skips happily out of the camp) Cinderpaw: (Dresses in rags next to Graystripe and starts speaking in an English accent) Oh, loving, caring, smart Graystripe, could you please spare me a training session? Graystripe: Uh . . . I’m kinda training Haikupaw today. Cinderpaw: (Quickly thinks of a lie) I only have three minutes to live. Graystripe: *GASP* you poor thing! You know, I can train two apprentices at once. Cinderpaw: (Stops English accent) How? Graystripe: Because! I’m Graystripe! Cinderpaw: That makes sence. Let us role. *GRAYSTRIPE AND CINDERPAW MAGICALLY APPEAR ON A MOTORCYCLE WITH SUNGLASSES AND THEY DRIVE TO SNAKEROCKS* Haikupaw: (Runs after motorcycle then stops) Hey, Graystripe! Wait for, Me! I am your real apprentice. Why did you leave me? *AT PRINCESS’S HOUSE* Fireheart: (To the camera) Okay. I’m about to- Evil: (Pushes Fireheart’s screen away) Hello! You all get to watch me shop for underwear at the Mart-Mart! (Pushes around a shopping cart as happy music comes on) Fireheart: (Pushes Evil’s screen away) Uh-hem . . . anyway, I’m going into Princess’s yard, but I’m not so sure- Evil: (Pushes Fireheart’s screen away, pushing a shopping cart through the men’s section) Ah. See this kind of stuff? This is what I like to wear- Fireheart: (Pushes Evil’s screen away) AS I WAS SAYING . . . I’m not so sure if doing this will make the other warriors, like Evil shopping for underwear, send me back to my twolegs . . . (pulls Evil’s screen back on) Evil: (Pushing a shopping cart full of ladies underwear) . . . GAAH! This isn’t what it looks like! (Looks at Fireheart’s screen) Traitor! Fireheart: She-cat! Evil: AAAARG! (Screen disappears) Fireheart: Oh, Princess! Princess: Yes, Rustman? Fireheart: How did you know my name before I could have Raincloud put it on the script as “Rustman?” Princess: ‘Cause I’m cooler than you. Fireheart: Good point. Princess: So, how’s the wild? Fireheart: How did you know I lived in the wild before I told you? Princess: ‘Cause I’m cooler than Graystripe. Fireheart: Again, good point. Princess: So, how’s the wild? Fireheart: Why did you ask again? Princess: ‘Cause I’m cooler than Raincloud. Raincloud: Ugh! I’m offended! I’m going to stop writing this story. Princess: Oh. Oka--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------TWO-HOURS-L8R------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Raincloud: Fine. If I didn’t write this story, you wouldn’t exist. Princess: Yes we would. Erin Hunter wrote us first- Raincloud: But . . . good point. Princess: So anyway- Raincloud: TIME’S UP! It’s already sunset. Fireheart: It is your fault, Raincloud. Raincloud: No it isn’t. Get back to ThunderClan. Fireheart: I will return . . . possibly to bring one of your kits into the clan? Princess: Don’t make me kill you! *BACK AT THUNDERCLAN* Haikupaw: Oh my, Fireheart. My mentor abandoned me. Can you mentor me? Fireheart: It was only for one day. Graystripe: Cinderpaw ripped me off! She told me she only had three minutes to live. Fireheart: You know she was lying. Graystripe: Yeah . . . I kinda figured that out after three minutes passed. Evil: (Jumps in front of Fireheart’s face) Banana bonanza! (Hops away) Fireheart: That was . . . weird . . .
Post by Autumnstorm on Sept 15, 2007 9:07:27 GMT -5
YAAAAY! Still so funny!!!! *falls off chair laughing*
PLEASE read and review! Thanks![br][br]Finished: Does He Really Love Me? (One-shots), Humor, one scene (Warriors humor)[br][br]In the works: The Silver Bird (New Prophecy rewrites), Across the Great River (Sagas)
Post by Shadowstar on Sept 25, 2007 20:10:55 GMT -5
Lol, who are you talking to? My ipod thats hilarious
[center]Sweat drips in my eyes,[br]Screams of lust we cry[br]Tonight, you are everything[br]You're everything, you're everything to me[br]No more as I wake, from this perfect dream[br]I'll escape, I cannot stay and live this lie,[br]For I, must now think only of myself[br]And to think that you will not be scared or surprised[br]I sever all these ties, this is end[br]This is the end![/center]
*THE FOLLOWING HAS BEEN HAPPENING EVERYDAY SO FAR* Cinderpaw: (dressed in rags and speaking in an English accent) Oh, Graystripe, Fireheart has abandoned me again. Could you please spare me another training session? Graystripe: I told you already that I have to train Haikupaw. Cinderpaw: . . . Yellowfang had a prophecy that I was going to die before Haikupaw! Graystripe: Oh, you poor thing! I’ll mentor you for only ONE more day. (Gets on motorcycle with Cinderpaw and drives off) Haikupaw: (Running after motorcycle) Please wait-ith for thee! My sister’s lying to you. Don’t abandon me. *THEN LATER IN THE DAY* Evil: Banana bonanza! (Hops away) *NO, WAIT, NOT THAT LATER* Fireheart: Hi Graystripe. Just so you know, I wasn’t with my sister, Cathy, today. I was just shopping at the Mart-Mart. Graystripe: Okay. *TODAY* Fireheart: Another day of sunshine! Graystripe: Yeah . . . IT SUCKS! Floating gallon of milk: (floats around the clearing) Cinderpaw: (Pins down milk) Fireheart: Wow! Cinderpaw, you caught the floating milk! Cinderpaw: (Sniffs milk) It’s not regular milk, Fireheart. It’s . . . chocolate milk! Fireheart: Chocolate! Graystripe: Chocolate! Mousefur: Chocolate! Yellowfang: Chocolate! Bluestar: Chocolate? Evil: Chocolate! Sandpaw: Chocolate! Raincloud: Chocolate! ThunderClan: Chocolate! Haikupaw: Good morning, Graystripe. What is today’s assignment? I hope we may hunt. Graystripe: Nope. Today, we’re . . . (searches clipboard for lesson plans) . . . going . . . hunting. Cinderpaw: Yay! Haikupaw: . . . Graystripe: Why didn’t you respond? Haikupaw: Haven’t I told you? I don’t speak when I don’t have, A haiku to say. Fireheart: That makes sense. *NEAR THE RIVER* Cinderpaw: The River is frozen. Graystripe: Man, Cinderpaw, you’re worse than Longtail. Fireheart: We were supposed to catch a vole before you said that. Graystripe: (Jumps onto the ice, breaks it, and starts drowning) Fireheart: Now you’re worse than Cinderpaw! Cinderpaw: Isn’t this the part when princess Silverstream saves Graystripe? Fireheart: Yeah, but she isn’t coming. *ONE MINUTE LATER* Haikupaw: We are waiting here, Desperately waiting for her. Silverstream, please come. *ANOTHER MINUTE LATER* Fireheart: Where is Silverstream? *VIDEO CLIP OF SILVERSTREAM NOW: SHE’S PLAYING TEA PARTY WITH HER DOLLS* Silverstream: I can see the hidden camera, Raincloud. Raincloud: . . . hehe . . . I don’t know what she’s talking about! Silverstream: Why can’t I just let him drown? Raincloud: Well, without Graystripe, then there wouldn’t really be a story- Silverstream: But I die! Raincloud: So? Silverstream: Whatever. (Rescues Graystripe) Graystripe: Wow. I thought I was fresh-kill- Silverstream: Shut up and let me walk away. (Swims back to RiverClan) *BACK AT CAMP* Evil: (Posing in front of mirror) Yeah, I look GOOD! Fireheart/Graystripe/Haikupaw/Cinderpaw: (Stare in horror) Evil: This is MY private time! And wasn’t I supposed to come to you? Fireheart: Everything changes. Evil: Fine. Graystripe, why were you in RiverClan territory? Graystripe: I wasn’t in RiverClan territory. Evil: Liar, liar! Pants on fire! Graystripe: I’m not lying! Evil: Well, you’re pants ARE on fire. Graystripe: (Looks down at his own burning pants) Oh. Right.
Post by .Swiftclaw. on Sept 29, 2007 13:00:58 GMT -5
lol that was SOOO funny!!!!!!!!!!!! loved this: Evil: Liar, liar! Pants on fire! Graystripe: I’m not lying! Evil: Well, you’re pants ARE on fire. Graystripe: (Looks down at his own burning pants) Oh. Right.
Evil: So, what’s the truth? Cinderpaw: It was my fault. I stole a slice of pizza from Haikupaw, and then Graystripe was so angry that he jumped into the river. Fireheart/Graystripe: (Confused looks on their faces) Evil: You’re pants are not on fire, so I believe you. (Walks away) Cinderpaw: (After an awkward silence) I don’t even have pants. *LATER* Graystripe: Ugh. Yellowfang just fed me some poison ivy. No . . . wait . . . she fed me lavender. Fireheart: Wow. The words lavender and poison ivy are so hard to tell apart. Graystripe: Exactly! Fireheart: (Shakes head, annoyed) Mousefur: Evil wants you . . . dead- Fireheart: I know. (Walks over to Evil) Evil: You need to assess Haikupaw and Cinderpaw tomorrow. Fireheart: Okay. Whitestorm: Gimme some fish n’ chips while yo there. Fireheart: Got it. Whitestorm: You all right, Lil’ Dawg. *TOMORROW* Fireheart: All right, Cinderpaw and Haikupaw, you two need to hunt in the tallpines near twolegplace. Cinderpaw: Uh . . . Haikupaw: What Cinderpaw means, Is that Evil wants to catch, You in twolegplace. Fireheart: Who cares? Off you go! Cinderpaw/Haikupaw: (Race off) *AS FIREHEART SECRETLY FOLLOWS THE TWO APPRENTICES, HE’S SEEN CINDERPAW AND HAIKUPAW CATCH MUCH PREY, SUCH AS MICE, VOLES, RABBITS, BIRDS, AND STRANGLY ENOUGH, KANGAROOES.* Fireheart: (watching Haikupaw catch a wood mouse) Yeah! He caught the mousey, mousey! Cinderpaw: (points at Fireheart) RABBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! Fireheart: NOOO! It’s me, Fireheart. Cinderpaw: Oh. Sorry. (Runs away) *FIREHEART TURNS AROUND TO SEE A PERFECTLY ARRANGED FISH AND CHIPS MEAL RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM, WITH SUN RAYS BEAMING DOWN ON IT AND ANGELS SINGING “HALLELUIAH”* Fireheart: Whitestorm will sure be happy. *BACK AT CAMP* Cinderpaw/Haikupaw: (Each carry in a mouse) Evil: That's pathetic! Cinderpaw/Haikupaw: (Snap fingers) *A HUGE DUMPTRUCK BREAKS THROUGH THE CAMP WALL AND DUMPS TWICE AS MUCH PREY ON EVIL AS LAST TIME* Evil: . . . ouch. Fireheart: I've taught them so much. *Cries* Bluestar: Since Graystripe is . . . ill . . . I want you to mentor Haikupaw also. Fireheart: What? No way! I don't want to mentor someone who says haikus all the time . . . (turns around) Haikupaw: (looks at Fireheart with "Puss-in-Boots" eyes) Fireheart: . . . KIDDING! Hehe. Evil: Fireheart, your little friend is back. Fireheart: He just needs some time away from the camp- Evil: DISRESPECTFUL! (Hops away) Graystripe: (Walks past) ello. Fireheart: Ello. *DREAM-CATCHER FALLS FROM GRAYSTRIPE'S PELT* Fireheart: Wait a second . . . dream-catchers are only made from the villagers in RiverClan. I wonder . . . is Graystripe . . . HAVING NIGHTMARES ABOUT DIRTY LAUNDRY?!